Hi, I am Chris Bangle, BMW's new Global Design Chief. I have observed many of you taking note of my new designs and your reactions are exactly I had hoped for. Let me tell you my plans with my designs.

My plans are to destroy BMW, one hideous design at a time. Now that you have seen my latest work in the new 5, you will see that my plan is working and well underway, and you can no longer doubt that it will be successful. And just wait until you see the new Z4 in person...it's even scarier in person than it is in pictures! My vision for the new Z4 was to have an upsidedown rowboat with pointless shapes and mismatched angles...do you think I succeeded? I think I did!

If you have any ideas on what other heinous things I could do to the previously beautiful BMW autocar, let me know. I can be reached at chris_bangle@bmw.com.

Thanks for any input, I appreciate it...

Oh, here is a photograph of me...enjoy!


Love and Kisses,
Chris

 

Puahahaha!!

 

 

Long live Chris !!!
Hey... the worse he makes the Bimmers look, the better our cars look, right ??

"the enemy of your enemy is your friend..."

 

Now that my dastardly plan has been revealed, I'm feeling all giddy. I feel like a little schoolgirl that just told her best friend a secret...!!

Oh my, I'm all tingly!!

I'm giving those Germans a little taste of what real AMERICAN automotive engineering and design is. Ugly cars, piss poor performance...yes, my plan will succeed! It must succeed!

I teased them with the Z8 and got their trust...they have no idea what kind of evil plans I have for BMW...I will tell you, my friends, as time goes on what sorts of wicked and insidious designs I have in store...you should see the prototypes I have drawn for the X5...!

It is my destiny, my only purpose in life!

I WILL DESTROY BMW!!!

 

LMAO

 

ROFL
You have the PWR at your fingertips

 

Hello Everyone.

This is Dr. Dieter Zetsche.

For those who do not know me I am the President/CEO of Daimler-Chrysler America. Now that Chris' plan is public knowledge I too must divulge my part of the plan.

You see Chris has been under my tutelage all his life and was trained to infiltrate BMW and destroy them from the inside. As you are now aware our plan has worked perfectly. Thank you, Chris, for helping Daimler-Chryslers' quest to rule the world.

Good luck and Godspeed, we're counting on you to finish the job,

Your Mentor,
Dieter

 

HAHA! So that's the true plan! No wonder

 

Hey, Chris, are you responsible for the 7 series too? If so, your devious plan is working.