Quick Silver

Subject: OSAMA BIN LADEN

When Osama bin Laden died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face
and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for

the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me
to write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans
unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."

The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

Quick Silver

Subject: A Likely Story

The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom making
love to a beautiful, sexy young lady!

"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this
to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving this
house, I want a divorce!"

The husband, replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen
to what happened"

"Hummmmm, I don't know. Well it'll be the last thing I will hear from you.
But make it fast, you unfaithful pig you"

The husband begins to tell his story

"While driving home this young lady asks for a ride. I saw her so
defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she
was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She mentioned that she had
not eaten for 3 days.

With great compassion and hurt, I brought her home and warmed up the
enchiladas that I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because
you're afraid you'll gain weight. The poor thing, practically devoured them.

Since she was very dirty I asked her to take a shower.

While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes
so I threw her clothes away.
Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you have had for
a few years, that you can no longer wear because they are too tight on you.
I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our anniversary and you don't
wear because I don't have good taste. I gave her the pullover that my
sister
gave you for Christmas that you will not wear just to bother my sister and I
also gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you
never wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair."

The husband continues his story . . .

"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door.
When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out of her
eyes, she asks me:

"Sir, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"

jasonw

How do you get a nun pregnant?










Dress her up like an alter boy!

jasonw

How do they seperate the boys from the men in Vatican City?












With a crow-bar!

jasonw

Did you hear about the new song Michael Jackson and Elton John are making?











It's called, "Don't let your son go down on me!"

jasonw

How do you know it's bed time at Neverland Ranch?












When the big hand touches the little hand!

Quick Silver

Check This Out...

illicit

Munki

this is one of my favorite

men are like parking spaces... good ones are taken and the rest are all too small

problem_child

i thought... "all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicaps"