NorCal Joke Thread
11-19-2008, 10:18 PM
#522
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The differences of friendship between men and women...
One day, a husband caught his wife trying to sneak back into the bed early in the morning. When asked where she was the previous night, she said she slept over her best friends house. Curious, the husband called 10 of her best friends, and all of them had no idea where she was that night.
Another day, the wife caught her husband trying to sneak back into bed early in the morning. When asked where he was the previous night, he said said he slept over his best friend's house. Curious, the wife proceeded to call 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed he slept over, and 2 insisted he was still there.
One day, a husband caught his wife trying to sneak back into the bed early in the morning. When asked where she was the previous night, she said she slept over her best friends house. Curious, the husband called 10 of her best friends, and all of them had no idea where she was that night.
Another day, the wife caught her husband trying to sneak back into bed early in the morning. When asked where he was the previous night, he said said he slept over his best friend's house. Curious, the wife proceeded to call 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed he slept over, and 2 insisted he was still there.
11-19-2008, 10:24 PM
#523
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0-200 in 6 seconds!
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
11-19-2008, 10:57 PM
#525
Registered User
Originally Posted by S2Kevint,Nov 19 2008, 11:24 PM
0-200 in 6 seconds!
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
That made me laugh so hard!
11-20-2008, 04:09 AM
#526
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Originally Posted by S2Kevint,Nov 19 2008, 11:18 PM
The differences of friendship between men and women...
One day, a husband caught his wife trying to sneak back into the bed early in the morning. When asked where she was the previous night, she said she slept over her best friends house. Curious, the husband called 10 of her best friends, and all of them had no idea where she was that night.
Another day, the wife caught her husband trying to sneak back into bed early in the morning. When asked where he was the previous night, he said said he slept over his best friend's house. Curious, the wife proceeded to call 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed he slept over, and 2 insisted he was still there.
One day, a husband caught his wife trying to sneak back into the bed early in the morning. When asked where she was the previous night, she said she slept over her best friends house. Curious, the husband called 10 of her best friends, and all of them had no idea where she was that night.
Another day, the wife caught her husband trying to sneak back into bed early in the morning. When asked where he was the previous night, he said said he slept over his best friend's house. Curious, the wife proceeded to call 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed he slept over, and 2 insisted he was still there.
11-24-2008, 09:47 AM
#527
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The Boat....
They say the two happiest days in life are the day you buy a boat and the day you sell it. Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it.
Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.
Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery store. A kind old neighbour woman mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The darn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle!"
The old woman fainted.
They say the two happiest days in life are the day you buy a boat and the day you sell it. Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it.
Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.
Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery store. A kind old neighbour woman mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The darn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle!"
The old woman fainted.
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