Well, I made my way to Honea Egypt, or "Test Loop #2" as I have come to call it. Snaking through the rural backyard of Conroe, it's 7.9 miles of two-lane asphalt, with more than its share of blind corners and hills, sharp crests and dips, 15mph corners (I counted over a dozen), and sandwhiched between solid walls of 100ft pine trees no more than 20ft from either side - there is no shoulder, only ditch. It's my own little Nurburgring, if you will.

With a new skin of asphalt, little traffic, no clouds and a cool 75

 

Then we make our turn. Before they even have their front wheels pointed forward, their throttle is pegged. Of course, I do the same. The symphony of the 3 cars, all accelerating and shifting together, the exhaust notes hardening and pitch sharpening in unison, was almost orgasmic. I redline first, then second, and after a few minor kinks taken at WOT, I'm at the top of third but have to feather the throttle to keep from rearending the MP3. Hard on the brakes, I heel/toe into 2nd and we take the first corner at 65mph. My tires are howling as they struggle to grip the road - they're squealing, but not sliding. I can see the STi pulling away, but only just. "This damn Mazda needs to get outta the way," I murmur.

Glued to the Mazda's rear bumper, we fly through the next turns at close to 100mph before I back off to give him room for the next braking zone. Down to 65mph for an increasing-radius sweeper, but we pick it back up to 85mph at corner exit. After a small kink in the road, hard on the brakes for the first set of serious corners: Four pairs of 15mph S-curves, one after another. I pull out, flash the high-beams and brake late. The car unsettles, the rearend squirming, the rear tires trying to beat the fronts around the corner. Flicking the wheel quickly left and right, I manage to keep it pointed forward and shiny side up. The Mazda slows and motions me past out the window. Pulling back into our lane, I tap the brakes twice for a quick "Thank you." First objective completed. Second objective: Subaru Impreza STi.

I fought furiously for the next mile to catch up with the STi. He was driving at a blistering pace through this slower section, and I lost a lot of time struggling with the Protege. The fact that the STi had bags of turbocharged torque and 4WD didn't help the situation any. It simply shot out of the hole.

Finally, I close it to within two car lengths while negotiating a 6-turn high-speed section. The first two corners were taken curb-to-curb and full-throttle. At this point, the speedo read 97mph. The hairy part, however, was the last series of four turns. It was a quick left-hander into a sharp right-hand crest which dropped quickly and steeply to a low right-hand bridge, which in turn fed into a very high-speed blind right-hander. It was possible to take it at WOT while still staying in your lane around the blind corner, but as the car got light over the crest, I chickened out and lifted off for a half-second, rounding the pine tree-lined ditch with the right-side wheels hanging halfway off the pavement. Through peripheral vision, I could see Mike fumbling desperately for a grab handle as his whole body tensed. Remembering what my last passenger (at TWS) did, I said firmly, "Don't touch my handbrake." Through this section alone, the gap between the STi and I all but disappeared; I made up a good ten car lengths.

Now for the hard part: Passing the STi.

 

In those last four miles, I never managed to pass the STi. There were a few opportunities, but he was too fast and the road too narrow to successfully and safely execute a pass. Instead, I was all over his rearend, filling his mirrors with Honda HIDs. Granted, he'd pull away in some sections, but I was never more than two car lengths back. So for the last few miles, it was Subaru Flees From Honda.

Luckily, there was little traffic to slow us down, except for a few cars driving in the opposite direction. One such vehicle appeared out of nowhere (actually it was another blind crest) in the least opportune turn: A sharp off-camber 75

 

And now, more than ever, it was obvious how planted the STi was. It had traction, traction, and more traction. It was bouncing over the smooth - but not flat - pavement, but it was obvious the suspension was doing its job, and rather well at that. There was never any drama, and the car never looked floaty, even at such high speeds over undulated pavement. My S2000 however, wasn't so willing to play nice. The KONI's were still set close to max, and the sharp ripples and bumps sent shockwaves through the frame. (You'd have sworn this car had no suspension at all!) You'd feel every inch of asphalt and its imperfections through the steering wheel, all three pedals and the shift knob, which is nice for feel and response, but means it's twitchy, jumpy, and very loose under braking.

After the previous white-knuckle section, a light dab of the brakes slowed us to just under 100mph for another high-speed kink, then the LOUD pedal met the carpet one last time, the engine singing at full song, sending shivers down my back, the adrenaline still pumping furiously through my body. Clicking into 5th, the nose lifted again as the speedometer read an honest 133mph before the STi driver motioned me out the window to slow down. The next half-mile was a cool-down run, where the MP3 finally caught up. My fan was whirring madly and the smell of tires, brakes, and exhaust, finally catching up, made their way into the car. "Mmm, I love that smell," I whisper. It seemed deadly silent, now cruising at a seemingly snail-like pace of 60mph. Gone was the roar of the wind, the metallic whine of the engine, the high-pitched scream of the intake, the powerful bass note of the exhaust.

 

At FM-1488, the STI motioned me to follow him. We pulled into a gas station, where we stepped out.

The STi driver stepped out with a sly grin, chuckling like a school boy as he walked up to me. "You were hauling ass back there!" I tell him.

"You were pretty quick yourself!" he obliges. "You come here often, don't you?"

"Ya, all the time. It's my own private test track," I tell him as I make the quotation mark symbols with my hands.

"Heh, ya," he says, "I'm out here quite a bit. I had an S4, but traded it in for this car a few weeks ago. The S4 doesn't even compare."

Before I can respond, the MP3 driver jumps out, "You f*ckers are crazy! Holy shit, I couldn't keep up, but you two were pulling some crazy shit back there! I don't know how y'all get away with it."

"Eh," I reply, pointing to Mike, "this guy here threw off my car's balance big time. That's why it looked so crazy."

"Ahhh, f*ck you!" Mike yells jokingly.

"Did you get the time?"

"Damnit, I forgot to stop the stopwatch."

"Hehe, you timed yourself?" the STi driver asks me.

"Ya, just for fun. Hell, I even got it on film!" I tell him, pointing to the camcorder.

"Cool beans," he says, "I need a copy of it!"

We talked for a bit, then exchanged information and went on our way. It was fun, but only the first round. To be continued...

 

Can you send me a copy of the vid? I'll be your online bitch -_-*

Thanks for narrative!

-Son

 

It's 8mm. Once I figure out how to upload, compress, and host, I'll try to post it online. I have some other great vids as well, like when my passenger at TWS mistakes my handbrake for a grab handle halfway through turn 6(?) - the fast banked right-hand sweeper - or when I pass the 911 Carrera, NASCAR-style.

 

$$

-Son

The "$$" means, "you're so money." Swingers!

 

get a belkin videobus

 

alex,

AWESOME write-up. The details and description were excellent and I felt as if I were there.

You have to PM with the whereabouts of your "Test Track" as I am minutes from 1488 and never knew about this road. Tell me where to start and where it ends. I'm not going to try and best your time but would love to know of a good route around here.

Take care.

Ryan