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If your girlfriend of 5 years were $5,500 in credit card debt.

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If your girlfriend of 5 years were $5,500 in credit card debt.

 
Old 03-08-2016, 02:46 PM
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If your girl friend of 5 years...

I still can't used to the idea of dating a 5 year old.
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Old 03-08-2016, 06:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Jdrum1 View Post
Originally Posted by bluemetals2k' timestamp='1438988371' post='23707835
I would want to marry her, however she wants kids. And I am firmly against that before when we met, now while were together, and anytime in the future! I,mean come on guys how am I suppose to get my racing career off the ground with kids tieing me down?!? LOL
Seriously? Then why are you with her? Many differences can be worked through (career goals, religion, desired geographic location, etc.), but differing on wanting kids doenst go away.

As she gets older, her desire will only grow stronger. If she doesn't get the family she wants, that desire will eventually turn to resentment.
amen.
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Old 12-03-2018, 01:20 PM
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For anyone curious how this ever panned out. Our relationship made it to 11 years this September 2018 was out anniversary. Unfortunately it just ended a few days ago. She loves me and I love her but she feels now as shes getting older Im not the right person for her. Everything was amicable no ones mad at the other person. We held eachother cried for 3 days. I wanted to go to couples therapy and work out the problems but she refused and just wants to "start fresh by herself".

The really sad part is everything was going so well and we had a fight over something so ****ing stupid I had no idea it would lead to this outcome, and I hate myself now for acting and saying the shit I did. Come to find out shes been slowly feeling there was issues and I wished she would have came to me sooner in a serious manner and tried to work out the problems she was feeling about the relationship that I had no idea about ( Im a guy not a mind reader ).

The REALLY ****ed up part is I had an entire event planned out for Christmas 2018 to propose to her at Niagra Falls where she has always wanted to go. I even changed my mind on never wanting to have kids. I was ready to settle down and spend my life with her. Now all I have is this huge aching pain in my heart. My chest feels like its going to collapse.

P.S. After everything going on now, I started to realize the little day to day changes I missed in her happening right in front of me. Honestly she wont ever admit this, but I believe shes met someone else and is more interested in pursuing that now. Being protective of her phone from me using it and stopped taking her own lunch to work she started going out for lunch everyday with "co workers" or by "herself" I always trusted her so I never questioned it. But now it seems I should have said something
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Old 12-03-2018, 02:47 PM
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Sorry to hear that. It certainly sounds like the writing was on the wall, and the signs were there (easy to be blind to them).

I know it sucks, but life will go on, things will get better, and your outlook on the situation will change.

My ex and I had been together about that long, and married for a couple years when she felt trapped I was devastated at first, but in a very short time realized I was happier. Fast forward to now, and the "new" girlfriend has become my wife (for about 4 months). Still sucks when I think about how much time and work I devoted to my first marriage, but my past is what got me to where I am now.

Wife 2.0 is younger (by 12 years!), hotter (yoga and crossfit), and treats me way better!!!! Most importantly, she LOVES the s2000 and supports my hobbies 100%!

Give yourself some time to grieve, and do some things you didn't/couldn't do with her around. You'll adjust, and may even find you enjoy some things about your new freedom.






Originally Posted by bluemetals2k View Post
For anyone curious how this ever panned out. Our relationship made it to 11 years this September 2018 was out anniversary. Unfortunately it just ended a few days ago. She loves me and I love her but she feels now as shes getting older Im not the right person for her. Everything was amicable no ones mad at the other person. We held eachother cried for 3 days. I wanted to go to couples therapy and work out the problems but she refused and just wants to "start fresh by herself".

The really sad part is everything was going so well and we had a fight over something so ****ing stupid I had no idea it would lead to this outcome, and I hate myself now for acting and saying the shit I did. Come to find out shes been slowly feeling there was issues and I wished she would have came to me sooner in a serious manner and tried to work out the problems she was feeling about the relationship that I had no idea about ( Im a guy not a mind reader ).

The REALLY ****ed up part is I had an entire event planned out for Christmas 2018 to propose to her at Niagra Falls where she has always wanted to go. I even changed my mind on never wanting to have kids. I was ready to settle down and spend my life with her. Now all I have is this huge aching pain in my heart. My chest feels like its going to collapse.

P.S. After everything going on now, I started to realize the little day to day changes I missed in her happening right in front of me. Honestly she wont ever admit this, but I believe shes met someone else and is more interested in pursuing that now. Being protective of her phone from me using it and stopped taking her own lunch to work she started going out for lunch everyday with "co workers" or by "herself" I always trusted her so I never questioned it. But now it seems I should have said something



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Old 12-04-2018, 08:11 AM
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Originally Posted by bluemetals2k View Post
For anyone curious how this ever panned out. Our relationship made it to 11 years this September 2018 was out anniversary. Unfortunately it just ended a few days ago. She loves me and I love her but she feels now as shes getting older Im not the right person for her. Everything was amicable no ones mad at the other person. We held eachother cried for 3 days. I wanted to go to couples therapy and work out the problems but she refused and just wants to "start fresh by herself".

The really sad part is everything was going so well and we had a fight over something so ****ing stupid I had no idea it would lead to this outcome, and I hate myself now for acting and saying the shit I did. Come to find out shes been slowly feeling there was issues and I wished she would have came to me sooner in a serious manner and tried to work out the problems she was feeling about the relationship that I had no idea about ( Im a guy not a mind reader ).

The REALLY ****ed up part is I had an entire event planned out for Christmas 2018 to propose to her at Niagra Falls where she has always wanted to go. I even changed my mind on never wanting to have kids. I was ready to settle down and spend my life with her. Now all I have is this huge aching pain in my heart. My chest feels like its going to collapse.

P.S. After everything going on now, I started to realize the little day to day changes I missed in her happening right in front of me. Honestly she wont ever admit this, but I believe shes met someone else and is more interested in pursuing that now. Being protective of her phone from me using it and stopped taking her own lunch to work she started going out for lunch everyday with "co workers" or by "herself" I always trusted her so I never questioned it. But now it seems I should have said something
Dude,

I feel your pain. But hear me out...... Met this girl in high school, love at first sight on my end. She was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Wanted to spend my life with her, have kids, dated for five years, blah blah, same result. She wanted to spread her wings. I was devastated, for a long time too. I was actually the one that ended it because she was always kind of looking, you know what I mean? I said, "We are splitting up, you need to do what you need to do, and if you decide it is me you want then you can tell me and we can go further but I won't chase you, you are the one that will have to make that decision." She ended up getting married to some other guy. Once you find the right one, it is hard to get out there and find the next right one. I know EXACTLY how you feel right now, and it is gonna last for a while.

I floated for a bit, dated lots of hot women. It was fun but empty because they were not the right one. Was a bachelor for quite a while. It got real old. Real old.

Found the next right one, got married kinda late, at 37. Gave kids a shot but it did not work out medically so I miss out on that a bit.

But here is the thing.....I am totally happy. She is super cool, quite hot, well educated, makes a ton of cash (not that that is important, but is a nice bonus.) We have a great life, get to travel and see the world. Do lots of awesome things.

I am told though mutual friends from high school that the "ex" likes to Facebook stalk me. So I purposely just post tons of pictures from trips to Hawaii or Europe and stuff to twist the knife. We would bump into each other every few years out of the blue somewhere in town and she would always make small talk and burst into tears.

Days may look dark, your life can still turn out to be lived like a rock star, and maybe she will be the one who regrets it. But if you have been together that long and she was not into it, that is a bad sign. Move on, make the best of it. Maybe she comes back, maybe not. But you can still crush it. The best part is, you give it your all and some women think they might find something better, but one day you get to smile and say "You blew it" and head to Bora Bora with your hot wife while they go home to some fat schlub. Would not change a thing. Your life NEVER goes the way you plan, but you can always make lemonade out of lemons.
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ragtophardtop (12-06-2018)
Old 12-06-2018, 10:35 PM
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Dude, please think of none of this as criticism, but as tough love from someone who lived nearly the same experience.

Originally Posted by bluemetals2k View Post
She loves me and I love her but she feels now as shes getting older Im not the right person for her. Everything was amicable no ones mad at the other person. ... I wanted to go to couples therapy and work out the problems but she refused and just wants to "start fresh by herself".
You got complacent, she started having new experiences, likely with a new guy, and you just don't fit in now that she doesn't need you.

Originally Posted by bluemetals2k View Post
The really sad part is everything was going so well and we had a fight over something so ****ing stupid I had no idea it would lead to this outcome, and I hate myself now for acting and saying the shit I did.
It wasn't something you said. It was a trend, a pattern, and it found an outlet. Women are really, really really ****ing good at keeping shit to themselves until that moment comes and then they make you feel like it's your fault. In all honesty a large % of the fault is probably yours, but it's not what you said in your fight or what she's making you think.

Originally Posted by bluemetals2k View Post
Come to find out shes been slowly feeling there was issues and I wished she would have came to me sooner in a serious manner and tried to work out the problems she was feeling about the relationship that I had no idea about...
She didn't because she didn't want to. The issues she's been feeling are only issues because she got interested in someone else and you didn't pick up on the signs fast enough. You got complacent. Learn from the mistake.

Originally Posted by bluemetals2k View Post
Now all I have is this huge aching pain in my heart. My chest feels like its going to collapse.
It sucks. Embrace it and overcome, and get back out on the wagon even if you have to pay for it. This is a process, and the faster you have more physical encounters with females the faster the feeling goes away and you can get to better outcomes in your life.

Originally Posted by bluemetals2k View Post
....Honestly she wont ever admit this, but I believe shes met someone else and is more interested in pursuing that now. Being protective of her phone from me using it and stopped taking her own lunch to work she started going out for lunch everyday with "co workers" or by "herself" I always trusted her so I never questioned it. But now it seems I should have said something
Exactly right here, but here's the rub. Saying something would not help. You need to act and bring alpha presence, it's what women respond to. Words...I made that mistake through many relationships and over many, many years. Words are only a small part, she has to know, she has to feel it in her soul that by ****ing around she will lose you and you're worth keeping, and if she doesn't watch out some other lucky lady will get the pleasure of your attention and time.

I've never met you and I don't know your full story. Heck, I haven't even read the full thread and I'm here giving internet advice when I should be sleeping. But I read the first couple of posts and knew where this was going to land before I skipped to the end. Sorry man, I know it hurts now, but she's made her choice, and it's time for you to make yours. Take care of yourself. if she really is the one, moving on and becoming stronger & more alpha will have a much higher likelihood of attracting her back to you than any other option you have. If you don't know how to do this PM me. Either way, you'll be stronger and happier in the long run.

Last edited by ragtophardtop; 12-07-2018 at 12:31 PM.
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Old 12-09-2018, 06:48 PM
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Originally Posted by vader1 View Post
Dude,

Days may look dark, your life can still turn out to be lived like a rock star, and maybe she will be the one who regrets it. But if you have been together that long and she was not into it, that is a bad sign. Move on, make the best of it. Maybe she comes back, maybe not. But you can still crush it. The best part is, you give it your all and some women think they might find something better, but one day you get to smile and say "You blew it" and head to Bora Bora with your hot wife while they go home to some fat schlub. Would not change a thing. Your life NEVER goes the way you plan, but you can always make lemonade out of lemons.
this is the best reply in this thread. life may suck right now but it's up to you to make the get out of that funk and make the best out of yourself. Make yourself a better person so she would want to come back or for that next better person
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