Faux pas
 

Ten days ago – Tuesday, last week, our older son's birthday – I committed a faux pas.

Literally: a false step.

According to the surgical assistant – fast-forwarding to last Friday – I was walking Geordie, our puppy, when I had to fight off a bear who attacked us.

It sounds a lot better than saying that I tripped on a rock.

I ended up with a bruised chin and cheekbone, a black eye, come bruised ribs, a skinned knee, and a dislocated, shattered, and lacerated right thumb.

Our younger son was visiting from Texas, so he picked up the dog and me, and took me to the emergency room. They yanked the dislocation back into place (mostly), and said that I needed surgery; I'm right-handed.

Last Friday I got the surgery, during which they yanked my thumb to its proper length, and jammed in a longitudinal pin and two lateral pins, all percutaneously (i.e., through the skin). (The surgeon said that if he'd opened up my thumb, the pieces would have fallen into a heap on the floor.)

I'll be in a splint for another week or so, whereupon the stitches and pins will be removed, and then a cast for 4 – 6 weeks thereafter.

Oh, and school starts in 1½ weeks: I'm teaching six classes.

Sigh.

Ouch. May it pass quickly.

Well, the cast came off yesterday and they yanked the pins out. The two transverse pins at the base of my thumb came out easily, but the longitudinal pin that ran through all three phalanges was a bit more recalcitrant: the PA clamped the pliers onto it, and twisted it back and forth a bit as he was pulling it out, the first 1½ inches was slow and hurt quite a bit (lots of nerve endings in your thumbtip), but then it just popped out. I was bleeding quite a bit from the pin holes, so I got my thumb swathed in gauze and vet wrap. I can take it off in a couple of days, when the pin holes have healed over.

Next week: physical therapy. I talked to the therapist who rehabbed my knees after the last ACL replacement and the knee replacement, but he doesn't do hands (at least, not when it's complicated; mine's complicated). He referred me to a hand specialist in Diamond Bar, about 30 minutes away (when there's little to no traffic). Six to eight more weeks.

Let's hope that I get most of my dexterity back; it's difficult being a close-up magician without the use of my dominant thumb.

I'm sorry to hear all that, Bill. Good luck and have a full and speedy recovery.

I started physical therapy on Wednesday, and have had two sessions so far.

First, my right hand's swollen, and a lot larger than my left: 90cc (about ⅜ of a cup).

I have four exercises that I have to do as often as I can. The first is to stretch my thumb down as far as I can while holding my hand flat. The second is to stretch my thumb as far as I can as if I were trying to grab hold of an extremely large glass or bottle. The third is to stretch my thumb across my palm to touch the tips of, respectively, my pinky, ring finger, middle finger, and index finger, relaxing it flat in between stretches. The final is to grab (with my left hand) the lower part of my thumb (the proximal phalanx, for you anatomy aficionados) and bend my thumb tip as far as I can, holding it for a bit before relaxing it. (Grabbing the thumb isolates the bending to the distal joint (the one I dislocated) instead of the proximal joint.)

All in all, it hurts like blazes, but I'm seeing clear progress.

After the first session they asked me, amongst other things, what I'd like to be able to do that I cannot do now; skills for which we can monitor gradual progress as I go through therapy. The first thing that came to mind was dealing playing cards. (I explained that I really mean a lot more than merely dealing. "Handling" cards is probably more accurate – shuffling, dealing, counting, and so on – but "dealing" is certainly a skill that I cannot do at the moment, and the gradual improvement to which can be monitored easily.)