Are these two statements the same?
 

1. "That idea is stupid"
2. "You're stupid for having that idea"

I was having a conversation with someone and an idea was brought up by the other person. I said, "That's stupid". She took immediate offense to it and added that I was calling her stupid. I retorted by saying that I'm just calling the idea stupid; she said that she was the one with the idea so that means I'm calling her stupid. Am I missing something? I'm only calling the idea itself stupid. There is no 'therefore' or 'hence' at the end. Just, that's stupid. Move on.

Thoughts?
And yes...completely off topic.

I'd have called her stupid for thinking what you said was calling her stupid.

This is exactly a common management training item -- Never call an employee stupid but feel free to say that about an idea or behavior. Your friend is wrong (stupid! lol) and overly sensitive.

op is trying to explain logic to a woman...i lold

My advice would be to bring someone in to clearly explain the situation. Either:
a. a lawyer or judge.
b. someone with a Master's or Ph.D. in Rhetoric.
c. a Best Buy employee.

:stupid:

People who can't separate their thoughts and opinions from their own ego are usually people who take offense when you disagree with them. These people are idiots, and you should never bother to argue with them except to trollololololo.

While related; I think this actually might require the geek squad

Does your answer change if the woman was my mother?

absolutely not.

It's generally good practice to avoid use of the word "stupid" as it triggers reactions as described. You might as well have said she was behaving like a bitch. Regardless of whether you were calling her a bitch or comparing her behavior to that of a bitch, the use of the word makes further rational discussion difficult.

In other words, right or wrong, your language triggered a predictable response. Saying "that's stupid" is an extreme response that probably wasn't warranted, and the reaction was easily predictable. You would probably react the same way if she had responded to one of your ideas with the same language and tone.

Your choice of words does not imply a deep amount of thought and careful reasoning on your part prior to your outburst. To the contrary, it comes across as dismissive, as if you think the speaker is, well, stupid and therefore their ideas do not require careful consideration.

It's all well and good to blame others for their reaction to one's language, but if one fails to grasp how their choice of words and delivery consistently trigger negative reactions, one can hardly accurately claim that the problem is "other people."