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Asking for $ for a wedding gift. Tacky or not?

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Asking for $ for a wedding gift. Tacky or not?

 
Old 01-17-2019, 04:11 PM
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Default Asking for $ for a wedding gift. Tacky or not?

What are the opinions as to asking for $ for a wedding gift? My nephew's soon to be bride is asking. I am old school on this one. You don't ask for money, you don't expect people to donate to your honeymoon or help pay for the house you just bought. The younger folks think it's perfectly acceptable to do this and of course there are web sites specifically set up to facilitate this.

We always give $ for a wedding gift, but I get annoyed if $ is specifically requested. One time I got an invite to my cousin's son's wedding. I didn't know the young man very well. They did not live in my area. Out of the invite fell all kinds of little cards with places we could send $ to. I tossed the invite in the trash. No gift sent.

What about you?
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Old 01-17-2019, 04:48 PM
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Lainey,

I happen to agree with you. I don't think it's proper to ask for money or even to expect a gift. Like you I'm old school in this respect. Unfortunately, as far as this (and so many other things) goes, the times are changing and old school etiquette and manners are very quickly being forgotten.
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Old 01-17-2019, 05:26 PM
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It's not appropriate to me.
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Old 01-18-2019, 04:51 AM
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Are shotguns involved in the wedding planning?
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Old 01-18-2019, 05:03 AM
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Ever heard of a bridal registry? Certainly big in the South where my first marriage occurred. Three sets of dishes with specific patterns (everyday, semi-formal, formal -- to include Sterling silverware) were just the start. No power tools, though.

-- Chuck
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Old 01-18-2019, 05:15 AM
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Not very classy. Never heard of this. We usually give a gift, it shows more thought.
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Old 01-18-2019, 05:19 AM
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I totally agree with you. I get annoyed as well when people explicitly ask for money.
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Old 01-18-2019, 05:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Chuck S View Post
Ever heard of a bridal registry? Certainly big in the South where my first marriage occurred. Three sets of dishes with specific patterns (everyday, semi-formal, formal -- to include Sterling silverware) were just the start. No power tools, though.

-- Chuck
They still do that, but now they've added in web sites where they tell you where your $ might be used.

I find it disgusting. So many of the bride's friends think it's perfectly acceptable. Hell, the internet provides web sites to make this happen, so it must be acceptable, right?

These things just scream fund raisers to me. What ever happened to making purchases according to your means, and if you get a gift of $, then decide what you can spend it on.

The reason for the inquiry was that the couple is saving for a wedding, and a house, and well we can use the money instead of gifts.

Oh one of the responses, was to buy a home before the wedding and then use home equity to pay for the wedding!!!! Seriously???????????? Skip the fancy wedding, find a justice of the peace, invite a few close friends. You will be no less married than if you go into debt for your "dream wedding".
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Old 01-18-2019, 06:23 AM
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My daughter has been married twice -- to the same man. A secret JP wedding two weeks prior to his deployment to Korea so she'd get all the "dependent" benefits including Tricare and a higher housing allowance, and a traditional full-white dress church wedding almost exactly a year later with attendees from every timezone in North America. I have never been allowed to know what this wedding cost as my wife writes the checks. I don't recall any bridal registry or gift list. Lots of envelopes though. First grandchild on the way.

-- Chuck
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Old 01-18-2019, 07:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Lainey View Post
Skip the fancy wedding, find a justice of the peace, invite a few close friends. You will be no less married than if you go into debt for your "dream wedding".
This exactly. I can't believe the amounts of debt people go into for their "dream" wedding, even worse when they end divorcing after a year or two.
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