ralper

Gary, stay strong and optimistic. Help her to have a positive attitude and it will be ok. The cure for this is as much in her mind as it is with the doctors. It's your job to help her to see it that way.

This can be beaten. Just believe it can be. If you can do all of that, I fully expect to read your post in a few months that Cindy's has conquered the cancer.

kgf3076

It can be difficult at times to see the better side of a situation. You're doing a great job and eventually Cindy will benefit from it. That great attitude is contagious Gary. Keep it up and know we're all behind you.

robb

Thoughts and prayers to you and Cindy.

boltonblue

Gary, while you're on that emotional tightrope, recognize that she must terrified with all of the things that have been going on.
my Dad died while he was young and I was younger. It was genetic so i grew up with a somewhat cavalier attitude regarding mortality.
you tend to get bored with the gun at your head until it doesn't mean anything anymore.
If this is her first brush with the concept of mortality she may be not coping well and it will take time.
Both my wife's parents died six years ago within a few weeks of each other. It really rattled my wife and changed her focus on a lot of things.

Above all else talk to her calmly and listen. Resist the urge to fix things since it is what we guys do.
Instead just let her vent for a while about what she is feeling. You will come out of closer than you were before.

S2KRAY

Thoughts and prayers are with you. The progress made in this area has been phenomenal. Stay positive and I am sure she will be fine.

PokS2k

Gary, I agree with everything you’ve said. Maybe not “lucky” but very fortunate that the conditions were found early and seem to be treatable. Elaine’s cancer was found very early and she had what was described as an “angry” cancer, but was fortunate to have had it discovered so early.

I think you’ve described your role well, we are there for support and encouragement, we are not going thru what they are but need to be there for them.

All the best.

Zippy

Gary, I could say that you and Cindy are lucky that you found these conditions by "accident". But these were not accidents, and you were not lucky. Because you take care of your health you were able find this issues early enough to treat them effective. You guys did all the right things and that makes the odds that much better.
Stay positive, you guys will beat this!

hecash

engifineer

It sounds like it could be MUCH worse for sure and glad it is not more severe. But, once someone has a diagnosis like this it is very common to start looking down all the worst case paths. I tend to do this in many situations (did not used to but I have worked so long in program management, risks analysis, etc I have programmed myself to evaluate risks even if low probability and I guess that is why I do it).

My opinion is to let her talk through all of those with you and then help her evaluate. Help her talk herself through the risks, how most are very low probability, etc. I think when someone is able to talk themselves through it vs someone telling them "it will be ok" it tends to stick more and help reduce the worry. Learn as much as you can about all those possible paths so you can help her evaluate. That way you move those things from "the back of her mind", address the worry and move forward. That is at least my approach. I know everyone is different in how they deal with things.

Then outside of those conversations, find things to do, talk about, etc together that are "All consuming" to help put her mind on other things. I find that a mix of addressing the worry head on, then putting it to sleep and putting my mind on something totally differnt that requires concentration is a great way to ease that kind of stress.

Thougths and prayers. These things are not easy, but the great thing is that she has you to lean on and to support her, which is probably more important than anything else. I am sure with this early diagnosis and the type of cancer it is, it will be nothing more than a bad memory soon and you both will be moving on with life. The important thing then will be to continue to keep her positive and help reduce the worry of recurrence, which is always a tough thing for a while after someone has gone through any sort of cancer. I have friends who have dealt with that very thing, and it many times takes time to "relax" and not live in worry for the future, but that too will pass. Especially with solid support from loved ones and friends.

Heyitsgary

Thanks all for the encouragement and advice. It is appreciated.