Looking back on it I don't know how my wife and I survived.

We had no basic skills to build on. We didn't know beans about grocery shopping.

My wife could only cook sweedish meat balls and I could only do steak and baked potatoes or mashed potatoes.

We didn't know beans about treating sickness, medicines, etc.

And we didn't make any money. At one time in Florida we lived off selling off our furniture and picking up bottles off the side of the road ( you do remember pop bottles don't you?) And we had a one year old at that time.

We've tried to make sure our kids could function. Some of that can come at home but some has to be experienced to be believed.

I've tried to make sure my wife could run the business, keep up the house, work on the car, etc. just in case I go first. As a nice side effect, she's much better at diagnosing car probs than I am.

You owe it to your kids to be the parent and the adult and you owe it to them to make sure they can function without you.

 

^^^^ I remember when i had to sell my blood for 15 dollars a pint. I understand where you were. Although we were on our own and no money i never lost sight of where i wanted to be.

 

Val: I couldn't have said it better. To an outsider, I can endlessly praise my kids accomplishments since leaving home. But, in my heart I miss them and wish I could do it all over again -- better this time.

I left for college at age 18 and came back 2 weeks later. Unbeknown to me my bedroom had been converted to a TV room with a hide-a-bed. Nothing needed to be said; I got the message loud and clear. It worked out OK for me - I got married - but I vowed not to do that to my kids.

 

Reminds me of a story. I was leaving work one day, walking to the parking lot with a friend. He looks to find his truck missing and his wifes car in its place. He says she must be buying something big. When he gets home he finds his truck parked in the driveway with 2x4's and drywall in the back. At this point he's thinking he has some project lined up for him that he was unaware of. He gets in the house and sees his wife wielding a sledge hammer against a wall. When he asks what she's doing she tells him their son just moved out for the third time and she is making the living room bigger by adding their sons now vacant bedroom to it.

I guess she wanted some time with her husband before they got to old to appreciate it.

I have two out on their own and a third about to make the jump, I miss all of them, but I'm very proud of the way they turned out. They are all independant and doing well. If any one of them needed to move back they would be welcome. I can say that because I don't think any of them will have to move back....




dvh

 

I am the father of triplets. They are 29. My two sons are moving back in. The nest is never empty.