Go Back  S2KI Honda S2000 Forums > Special Interest > S2000 Vintage Owners
Reload this Page >

Joke of the Day Part II Vintage Style

S2000 Vintage Owners Knowledge, age and life experiences represent the members of the Vintage Owners

Joke of the Day Part II Vintage Style

 
Old 05-20-2008, 07:13 PM
  #501  
 
JonasM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Euclid, OH
Posts: 8,024
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Default





JonasM
JonasM is offline  
Old 05-20-2008, 08:55 PM
  #502  
 
PanteraKitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Stockbridge, Georgia
Posts: 3,056
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default


An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.



One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.



As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.



One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned and replied, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.

'

Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast.
PanteraKitty is offline  
Old 05-30-2008, 01:29 PM
  #503  
 
boltonblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: bolton
Posts: 21,888
Received 37 Likes on 35 Posts
Default

sorry I fail to see the humor and just find that disappointing.

thank you for the deletion.
boltonblue is offline  
Old 05-31-2008, 11:24 PM
  #504  
 
NNY S2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Plattsburgh, NY
Posts: 23,456
Received 83 Likes on 76 Posts
Default

Mr. Lee

A man thought that his wife is cheating on him.
Since he didn't have a lot of money to hire an expensive private investigator,
he decided to go with a much cheaper one ... a Chinese man named Mr. Lee.

The following day he received following report:

Most honorable sir:

You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch He and she leave house.
I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he.
He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fall off tree. I not see.


No fee.
Mr. Lee

NNY S2k is offline  
Old 06-01-2008, 04:40 AM
  #505  
 
dlq04's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Mish-she-gan
Posts: 29,911
Received 76 Likes on 67 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by boltonblue,May 30 2008, 04:29 PM
sorry I fail to see the humor and just find that disappointing.
Please delete that one.
dlq04 is online now  
Old 06-02-2008, 12:08 PM
  #506  
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: EstesPark/BocaRaton
Posts: 3,077
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

I've been out of town, but, wow, two racist jokes in pretty quick succession. I hope it's not starting a trend.

At least one was deleted. Thanks for that. HPH
DrCloud is offline  
Old 06-02-2008, 05:23 PM
  #507  
 
NNY S2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Plattsburgh, NY
Posts: 23,456
Received 83 Likes on 76 Posts
Default

The Lone Ranger

Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their
tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look
towards sky, what you see?'

'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'

'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically
speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially
billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we wi ll have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'

You dumber than buffalo shit. It means someone stole the tent.'
NNY S2k is offline  
Old 06-03-2008, 05:09 AM
  #508  
 
S2000_Europe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: MIAMI
Posts: 5,721
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by NNY S2k,Jun 3 2008, 02:23 AM
The Lone Ranger

Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their
tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look
towards sky, what you see?'

'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'

'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically
speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially
billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we wi ll have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'

You dumber than buffalo shit. It means someone stole the tent.'
very funny
S2000_Europe is offline  
Old 06-03-2008, 10:19 AM
  #509  
 
MsPerky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,455
Likes: 0
Received 31 Likes on 30 Posts
Default

^ That's an oldie but goodie!

A guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, "You've got to stop masturbating." The guy asks why. The doctor says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
MsPerky is online now  
Old 06-03-2008, 10:41 AM
  #510  
 
kgf3076's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Six Metro stops short of insanity.
Posts: 22,907
Received 69 Likes on 67 Posts
Default

A guy goes to a shrink..says to the shrink, "I think I may be a sex maniac." The doctor asks why. Guy says, "Well, the other day my wife and I are eating breakfast...I look at her, she looks at me, and BANG!, the next thing you know, we're making love on the breakfast table." The doctor says, "Well, that's not really unusual, sometimes you have urges and you have to follow through. It's your wife, there's nothing bad about that." Guy says, "Yeah, but now they won't let us back into IHOP."
kgf3076 is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

© 2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands