Joke of the Day Part III Vintage Style
10-25-2017, 12:29 PM
#351
11-16-2017, 01:28 PM
#352
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Six Metro stops short of insanity.
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(From a friend)
Questionable Medical Advice-a good parody of those ads! I don't understand why prescription medicine is allowed to advertise on TV or why anyone would think of trying one of the medicines after listening to the laundry list of warnings of possible side effects. But this is definitely an exception!
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
Do you sometimes feel stressed?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.
Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more
confident. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell
the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately
and, with a regimen of regular doses, you'll overcome obstacles that
prevent you from living the life you want.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past. You will discover
talents you never knew you had.
Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are
pregnant or nursing should not use it but women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control,
loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and
play all-night Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
Warnings:
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again that you love them.
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
LIFE IS A CABERNET, OLD CHUM!
Questionable Medical Advice-a good parody of those ads! I don't understand why prescription medicine is allowed to advertise on TV or why anyone would think of trying one of the medicines after listening to the laundry list of warnings of possible side effects. But this is definitely an exception!
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
Do you sometimes feel stressed?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.
Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more
confident. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell
the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately
and, with a regimen of regular doses, you'll overcome obstacles that
prevent you from living the life you want.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past. You will discover
talents you never knew you had.
Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are
pregnant or nursing should not use it but women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control,
loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and
play all-night Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
Warnings:
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again that you love them.
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
LIFE IS A CABERNET, OLD CHUM!
11-22-2017, 04:54 AM
#353
I read recently that role playing can spice up your love life.
We're not exactly newlyweds so after thinking about it a while I proposed it to my wife.
"Hey hon, how about I dress up as a chauffer and you can sit in the back.
And if your nice you can take advantage of me and do anything you like."
She paused for a moment, clearly I'd intrigued her, her eyebrow twisted up as she said " Anything?"
I replied "Any thing!!"
She simply mumbled "hmmm sounds good, really good."
Quick as a bunny I ran off and got into clothes that I imagined would look like a chauffer.
I met my wife in the garage and escorted her into the back seat.
I scurried around to my drivers seat filled with anticipation.
I hopped in and looked into the rear view mirror at my beautiful wife, 'What'll be today Maam?"
When she said "Take me," my heart almost exploded with excitement.
and then she finished her sentence 'take me to the grocery store, where going shopping!!"
We're not exactly newlyweds so after thinking about it a while I proposed it to my wife.
"Hey hon, how about I dress up as a chauffer and you can sit in the back.
And if your nice you can take advantage of me and do anything you like."
She paused for a moment, clearly I'd intrigued her, her eyebrow twisted up as she said " Anything?"
I replied "Any thing!!"
She simply mumbled "hmmm sounds good, really good."
Quick as a bunny I ran off and got into clothes that I imagined would look like a chauffer.
I met my wife in the garage and escorted her into the back seat.
I scurried around to my drivers seat filled with anticipation.
I hopped in and looked into the rear view mirror at my beautiful wife, 'What'll be today Maam?"
When she said "Take me," my heart almost exploded with excitement.
and then she finished her sentence 'take me to the grocery store, where going shopping!!"
11-27-2017, 04:53 PM
#355
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."So, on the way home the 80 year old stops at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.He said "Do you have any Rye bread?"She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ... By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard"
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this shit but me."
11-28-2017, 11:09 AM
#356
:lol::lol::lol:
12-07-2017, 07:05 PM
#358
12-10-2017, 04:50 PM
#359
12-10-2017, 07:16 PM
#360
^ Damn, you should be, I've no idea what-so-ever the joke is; perhaps, there is none. 
