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Joke of the Day Part III Vintage Style

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Old 02-22-2018, 05:12 PM
  #391  

 
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Good one.
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Old 02-26-2018, 10:51 PM
  #392  

 
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Default Dollar Shave Club Butt wipes ---NSFW, well depends on where you work...

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Old 03-07-2018, 04:29 AM
  #393  

 
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OK...who thinks this is funny? I did.

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Old 03-09-2018, 02:54 PM
  #394  
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Brit humor:
"I was sad to hear you buried your wife last month"
"Had to. Dead, you know."
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Old 03-10-2018, 08:50 PM
  #395  

 
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Originally Posted by tof
Brit humor:
"I was sad to hear you buried your wife last month"
"Had to. Dead, you know."
You bad..... so funny.
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Old 03-31-2018, 12:08 PM
  #396  

 
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A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
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Old 03-31-2018, 02:53 PM
  #397  

 
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Old 03-31-2018, 05:51 PM
  #398  

 
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^^^^ I guess I have a problem.
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Old 03-31-2018, 06:29 PM
  #399  

 
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Originally Posted by trapper
^^^^ I guess I have a problem.
Same here...
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Old 04-01-2018, 02:56 AM
  #400  

 
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X3
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