engifineer

It is very hard to detect as mentioned. I have unfortunately dealt with 4 suicides in my life, all very different.

- High school, a friend had his big brother beat him up (apparently not an isolated incident), he then ran out, took the family car, drove 80mph into an oak tree. Otherwise, he was the most happy, fun loving person you could ever meet. I kind of considered this someone "Snapping" and making a very, very rash decision, vs long time depression, but none of us know what was going on in his head.
- I had a cousin (step family... but part of the close family) that had been in trouble a few times growing up over his temper (someone picks fight, he goes overboard and really hurts them... almost always when drinking was involved). Straightened up, moved across the country, was living down the road from his sister and things were going well for him. She went over and found he had hung himself. No note, no indication of it coming.
- Another cousin/step cousin. The brother of the one above. Started down the meth route, him and wife had a violent break up (turned out that beyond meth use, she was an undiagnosed schizophrenic and had a lot of violent outbursts, amplified by the drug use), he then ended up getting in trouble over drugs and went to jail. Committed suicide in county jail
-And ANOTHER step-cousin, same side of the family. She was very successful in school, went through the airforce, came out, married, doing great, never a sign of depression in her life. Committed suicide one night in their garage.

I did not grow up a lot with the cousins mentioned, as we married into that family when I was about 13, so I do not know much about what went on before that with them. And you can infer some of the cause in 2 of the the three cousins based upon drug use, temper, etc ... OR you could say that those issues may have been related to some psychological issues that ran in the family. Very hard to tell and likely impossible to ever know. The saddest part is knowing the mother of the brother and sister. One of the most caring, nice folks you could know. She has an older daughter that had a heart attack at birth and has had mental disabilities since, both of her sons committed suicide and she has one other daughter who is doing well for herself. Terrible to think what what must feel like to live through.

Suicide is terrible, terrible thing and is very hard to understand, if not impossible.

jukngene

From my favorite comic strip, Pearls Before Swine:

With this comment from the artist, Stephan Pastis:
‪"One of the highlights of my drawing career was running this strip back in 2013 and getting a “thank you!” from Anthony Bourdain. One of my heroes."

And for those who don't know who Anthony was, maybe this article will explain things.

dlq04

We can only wish that was true but there is no comparison. People with cancer "seek" a solution. Its been my experience that people with depression, of the worst kind, rarely, if ever, do. Suicide is their solution.

engifineer

Dead on.

I liken it more to a drug addiction (except most times the depressed did not bring on the depression themselves) . The main issue with addiction is that those addicted to something rarely admit to themselves that they are out of control, thus they do not seek help. Hard to convince yourself to take that step if you don't recognize the issue to start with, so it just spirals out of control

Lainey

I could tell many stories about the horrors a family member went through while dealing with severe depression. I'll give you the short version. Doctors don't speak to doctors. Shrinks all have different opinions. There are plenty of options/providers for talk therapy, most of whom can't prescribe. Your primary can prescribe, however it's not their field of expertise. It can take a few different tries at medications to work, and it can take several weeks for the medication to kick in. Meanwhile the patient is still depressed. If the patient does not respond, the primary will refer to a shrink....oh and that appointment is 6+ weeks away. The family member seeks deeper into depression. Some folks don't respond to medication, no matter how many are tried. They can end up over medicated. Inpatient facilities are dismal. The depressed patient is often placed with others who have VERY different issues as far as mental health. I could go on, but I'm just repeating myself. Mental health care is deplorable.

As Dave mentioned, many people won't/don't ask for help, they are in denial, they refuse meds, quit taking meds. And there are so many who suffer in silence as well as those who appear happy on the outside while dying on the inside.

windhund116

Yes. Social stigma is very high. I guess it is so high, many do not seek treatment. Or even admit they need treatment.

cosmomiller

I think you have nailed it on the head.

zeroptzero

Loved his show, I could never fathom eating and drinking the way he did, but mad respect for the man. He seemed to be a guy with some demons though, and he admitted to some dependencies in the past.

dlq04

Love the input. These are subjects that are close, one way or another, to many. I sure as hell don't have any answers . . . just glad my daughter who tried to kill herself many times years ago is still alive even if she believes I was the root of her problems. I can't change what theorists planted in her head back when it seemed right to find someone to blame. No one ever said raising kids would be easy but I am just damn thankful she did not suck seed!!

ralper

Hmm, that's good.