WAL-MART APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.

They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!!

NAME:
George Martin

SEX:
Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that
will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION:
Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance
package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY:
A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car
that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes,
so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde
supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....
7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes, absolutely.

 

Book recommendation:
http://www.tenspeedpress.com/catalog...m.php3?id=1046

 

I thought it looked familiar...

 

Now that's funny...

 

Gee, Tenspeedpress did not have the book in stock. I wonder if Walmart has it, for less?

Unfortunately, the "mallization of America" reflects poorly on the "sheep" mentality that we have as a nation of consumers. I think it is interesting that some towns are refusing to allow the big box retailers in. Unfortunately, the town that my mother lives in (Riverhead, Long Island) is a classic example. The politicians changed the zoning to allow an Outlet mall and then another big shopping center with a Home Depot and a Walmart. The result is that Main Street is now a ghost town of empty store fronts. Sweezy's Department store that had been there since 1903 is out of business. The families that have been their for generations in some cases making an honest living are now either gone or struggling to stay with the high cost of living (Real estate taxes and the highest electricity cost in the nation) on the North Fork while working for $8.00 per hour at the big box stores.

I hate to call this progess, it is just more like evolution.

There is an irony in all this:

* A politician takes a bribe (called a campaign contribution).
* Votes to change zoning to allow big box retailers to move in.
* Big box retailer puts local family run business' out of business
* Locals become working poor working for a non-living wage.
* Hurricane comes and causes mass devasation including floods.
* Walmart responds with 180 truck loads of water and food that their emergency relief plan had ready to go at three different distribution depots in TX, GA and FL.
* Politicians that ignored the levy problem for forty years have egg on their faces and start the blame game.

Walmart Politicians on all three sides of the aisle