Guess where I've been since 5:45 this morning: the emergency room.
ok. I gathered all my friends together to celebrate...celebrate what? me no longer living in mountain view, me finishing the bidness quarter, getting a friend a job, my big 8month project going into production and my unbirthday. some were reluctant to come out on a monday but i convinced them otherwise. So we're all downtown drinking and whatnot, and I get a phone call. Friend's gotta be picked up at the airport. I've had a couple drinks, i bitch about my friend, then i say i'll be back in a jiffy. i was bragging earlier about how fast i made it over the hill that night racing a motorcycle. I take off. My good friend who's in on it keeps the gang around. an hour and a half later, people start wondering where i am. my friend starts making a scene about it, tries calling me, no answer. I call him after he tries calling me 4 times and I walk him thru the script. I play the part of the police.
P:Is this such and such?
F:Yes, who's this?
P:This is officer so and so.
F:May I ask how you got my number?
P:I'm calling concerning a Josh mylastnamehere, this was the most recent number dialed out on his phone.
F:What did he get himself into that he can't call himself from jail? (chuckles)
P:He's not in jail, he's at the stanford trauma center.
(friend's face changes from jest to terror, makes a note of the other ppl's faces watching him as they start to wonder)
F:ummm, uhh, umm, oh. oh no. nonono. what's going on.
P:are you a relative?
F:uh...(nervously shaking)..umm,..uh no i'm not...he doesn't have family in town...
P:do you know where to get ahold of them?
F
h no...umm...they're in colorado...
P:you might want to get in touch if you can.
(friend's face turns from terror to horror, makes a note of the other ppl's faces watching him as they start to get a contact horrification)
F:how do I find him?
P:blah blah blah
F
k, thank you. I'll be there as soon as I can.
(hangs up)
explains to the friends, they're horrified. my friend leaves. meets up with me elsewhere in town, we continue drinking. he calls a couple of the party poopers that he's close with, very distraught. no reason why we can't bring more suckers into this!!!
I died at 5am (about the time i stumbled off to bed really pissed drunk) of massive head trauma and internal bleeding. The friend gets in touch with the other people and gathers as many as he can up for lunch. tells them I didn't make it past the night. they're devastated. I mean, they were just partying and drinking with me last night, i was so happy and excited about how things are going in my life, it's just not fair. I sneak up on them and ask what's going on. They realize it's me and I'm not dead and you shoulda seen their faces change. From utter devastation to unadulterated disbelief, what an amazing sight! Me and my friend are literally, rolling on the floor of this restraunt. I couldn't keep myself together, I barely squeezed out "april fool's!!" The smacks I got across my face were worth it. I don't know how I'm EVER going to top this one.
P:Is this such and such?
F:Yes, who's this?
P:This is officer so and so.
F:May I ask how you got my number?
P:I'm calling concerning a Josh mylastnamehere, this was the most recent number dialed out on his phone.
F:What did he get himself into that he can't call himself from jail? (chuckles)
P:He's not in jail, he's at the stanford trauma center.
(friend's face changes from jest to terror, makes a note of the other ppl's faces watching him as they start to wonder)
F:ummm, uhh, umm, oh. oh no. nonono. what's going on.
P:are you a relative?
F:uh...(nervously shaking)..umm,..uh no i'm not...he doesn't have family in town...
P:do you know where to get ahold of them?
F
h no...umm...they're in colorado...P:you might want to get in touch if you can.
(friend's face turns from terror to horror, makes a note of the other ppl's faces watching him as they start to get a contact horrification)
F:how do I find him?
P:blah blah blah
F
k, thank you. I'll be there as soon as I can.(hangs up)
explains to the friends, they're horrified. my friend leaves. meets up with me elsewhere in town, we continue drinking. he calls a couple of the party poopers that he's close with, very distraught. no reason why we can't bring more suckers into this!!!
I died at 5am (about the time i stumbled off to bed really pissed drunk) of massive head trauma and internal bleeding. The friend gets in touch with the other people and gathers as many as he can up for lunch. tells them I didn't make it past the night. they're devastated. I mean, they were just partying and drinking with me last night, i was so happy and excited about how things are going in my life, it's just not fair. I sneak up on them and ask what's going on. They realize it's me and I'm not dead and you shoulda seen their faces change. From utter devastation to unadulterated disbelief, what an amazing sight! Me and my friend are literally, rolling on the floor of this restraunt. I couldn't keep myself together, I barely squeezed out "april fool's!!" The smacks I got across my face were worth it. I don't know how I'm EVER going to top this one.









