My wife's family had this tradition where everyone asked everyone else what they wanted for gifts and that's what they got, and each person received about 10-12 presents.

My suggestion that we could save time by having everybody add up the cost of the gifts they were going to buy and simply give $$ to each other didn't go over well at first, but we did modify things to where we draw names and we now each give one person one gift. The thing about asking people what they want seems to persist, though.

I like surprises and to surprise other people. This year, I bought my wife a gift that I am absolutely certain she will not expect to see when she opens the package. There is a risk that she will not like what I got her, but the possibility of her being totally stoked by seeing the gift is worth whatever risk there is in straying from the "Santa's List" approach, in my view.

Your thoughts on how you and your family/friends exchange gifts?

 

When I was a child, my parents always surprised me with gifts I never thought of. Ofcourse they always wrote the card with "from Santa." I like to be surprised but now that I am grown up, no one seems to do that anymore at least in my vicinity. This is a good topic.

 

I always try to surprise my kids and husband but it's getting harder and harder. This year the kids (17 and 18 years old) got big presents (new computers) that they know about, but I'm getting them little things they don't know about. Christmas is no fun to me if there is no surprise.

My husband will be surprised with his Garmin StreetPilot 2610 GPS. He borrowed mine once after I set it up for him. I just have to assure him it's not too hard to use all by himself. I will load the maps and get it all ready for him, and give him cheat notes.

We give 6 kids presents for Hanukkah and last year I did all gift certificates. This year it's all presents. If they don't like them, I'm sorry, but I wanted to go with the surprise this year.

 

Ben (22) and Melissa (32) each give us a list, with the 'budget balance' devoted to cold cash. Each year we try to have LESS stuff under the tree, but it doesn't always work.

For example, we bought things for each other on the recent trip to a distant destination (the one that charlie does not like me to mention) and will wrap them for each other. Kathy and I also buy one or two 'surprise' things for each other, but they are usually small $10-20 items.

Often we buy gifts so far in advance that the recipient (even if they said 'I want that') forgets about by the time Christmas rolls around. This is especially common in the vintage generation

Our family gathering on Christmas afternoon will be small this year (adding Mom-in-law and Sis-in-law)....so things should not be so hectic If we had a large family in the area, I would certainly push the 'designated gift program'- one gift for one pre-selected person

 

I love to surprise people with a gift. This year I'm sending one to my sister on Kauai. We never exchange presents for any reason, but this year I'm sending her some, although they are really for her birthday, which is 2 or 3 days before Christmas. She has been handling all of our dad's affairs, dealing with his divorce and his Alzheimer's, there on Kauai, and I wanted to send her a small token to let her know I appreciate her so much.

 

The kids always make lists but we sneak in some surprises as well. Darla and I always try to surprise each other.....to me prearranged gifts are no different than any other purchase......during the year if she wants or needs something we get it....yeah, she's spoiled but damn, she deserves it

 

same here. I'm spoiled rotten. We do try to surprise the kids (at least the ones who come home for Christmas. This year I'm surprising my youngest with a "The Breakfast Club" framed poster. She has NOOOOOO idea. She'll also be totally surprised by the prepaid gas/food card that Dad got for her. Since she works at J.Crewe in the web sales department she probably discovered the clothes I bought , but mayyyyybe somebody else handled the fulfillment.

 

I tend to think that if a gift isn't a surprise, then the real value of the gesture is to have saved the recipient the trouble of making the drive to the store.

There's also a bit of a confession here, the surprise gift (set of snowshoes and poles) is something that we would do together and, since I don't have snowshoes, well, you get the picture...

 

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If I give my spouse any Christmas present it would be a surprise. We do it throughout the year but for some reason never on the traditional days like Christmas, Valentine's day, birthdays or anniversary. At the most a card is given on those days.