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Play on words

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Old Mar 16, 2007 | 09:09 AM
  #1  
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Default Play on words

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:!
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


Some people have to much time on their hands
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Old Mar 16, 2007 | 09:31 AM
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Why are apartments called apartments when they are close together?
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Old Mar 16, 2007 | 01:28 PM
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The same reason you drive on parkways and park on driveways.
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Old Mar 16, 2007 | 01:57 PM
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And the difference between vitamins and hormones
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Old Mar 17, 2007 | 04:58 AM
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in Vegas, the hormones are fake.
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Old Mar 17, 2007 | 05:10 AM
  #6  
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Originally Posted by SPLNDID' date='Mar 17 2007, 05:58 AM
in Vegas, the hormones are fake.
It took me a second, but lol.
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Old Mar 17, 2007 | 08:35 AM
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Plus you can't hear a vitamin.
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Old Mar 18, 2007 | 12:45 AM
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Originally Posted by SPLNDID' date='Mar 17 2007, 05:58 AM
in Vegas, the hormones are fake.
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Old Mar 18, 2007 | 09:21 AM
  #9  
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Originally Posted by SPLNDID' date='Mar 17 2007, 04:58 AM
in Vegas, the hormones are fake.

-Lee
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Old Mar 26, 2007 | 04:52 AM
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Quite a few good lookin' babes with breast enhancements shakin' anna bakin' in our back yard as well. I have over 500 beauties dancing at my two clubs weekly.
__________________________________________________ _________________

Back on top....ic, here is a list of play on words that I posted in the Vintage joke line yesterday. These few examples illustrate why the English language is so hard to learn:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (surprise!).

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose two geese, so one moose, two meese? Doesn't it seem crazy, that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
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