>>When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need
>>to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know,
>>take
>>it out on someone you don't.
>>
>>
>>I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
>>forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man
>>answered,
>>saying "Hello".
>>
>>I politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with
>>Robert Campbell?"
>>
>>Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, "Get the right
>>f***in' number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
>>
>>I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked
>>down Robert's correct number to call him, I found that I had
>>accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with
>>him,
>>I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
>>
>>When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a ****!"
>>and hung up.
>>
>>I wrote his number down with the word ****' next to it, and put
>>it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying
>>bills or
>>had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a ****!" It
>>always cheered me up.
>>
>>When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic calling
>>would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is
>>John
>>Smith from British Telecom and I'm calling to see if you're
>>familiar
>>with our Caller ID Program?"
>>
>>He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
>>
>>I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a ****!"
>>
>>One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull
>>into a parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me
>>off
>>and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn
>>and
>>yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored
>>me.
>>
>>I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down
>>his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first
>>****
>>(I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call
>>the
>>Land Rover ****, too.
>>
>>I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for
>>sale?"
>>
>>"Yes, it is", he said.
>>"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
>>
>>"Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced
>>house, and the car's parked right out in front."
>>
>>"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said.
>>
>>"When's a good time to catch you, Steve?"
>>
>>"I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed."
>>
>>"Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?"
>>
>>"Yes?"
>>
>>"Steve, you're a ****!"
>>
>>Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial too.
>>
>>Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then one
>>day I came up with an idea. I called **** #1.
>>
>>"Hello?"
>>
>>"You're a ****!" (But I didn't hang up.)
>>
>>"Are you still there?" he asked.
>>
>>"Yeah," I said.
>>
>>"Stop calling me," he screamed.
>>
>>"Make me," I said.
>>
>>"Who are you?" he asked.
>>
>>"My name is Steve Hansen."
>>
>>"Yeah, and where do you live, Steve?"
>>
>>"129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my gunmetal
>>grey Land Rover parked out the front."
>>
>>He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better
>>start saying your prayers."
>>
>>I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ****," and hung up.
>>
>>Then I called **** #2. "Hello?" he said.
>>
>>"Hello, ****," I said.
>>
>>He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>>
>>"You'll do what?" I said.
>>
>>"I'll kick the shit out of you" He said
>>
>>I answered, "Well, ****, here's your chance. I'm coming over
>>right now."
>>
>>Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
>>lived at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, and that I was on my way over
>>there
>>to kill my gay lover.
>>
>>Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war going down in
>>Alice Street, Ilford .
>>
>>I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got
>>there just in time to watch my two **** beating the shit out of
>>each
>>other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter
>>and a
>>news crew.
>>
>>Now I feel MUCH better.
>>Take it from me, anger management really works!

 

Very old, but very cool.