Mensa Word List

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, asking readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Winners are:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid

7.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido: All talk and no action

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
for common words.

And the winners are:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one
has gained

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach

4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk

5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing
only a nightgown

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has
been run over by a steamroller

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline

11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam

12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists

13. Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist

14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there

16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts

 

hahahaha, is that real?

Some of those got me really laughing out loud!