I've decided the conventional market segmentation referred to by marketing wonks is out of date and have thus redefined it:


*Nick's system rating:

Tier 1; true luxury brands bought by Oligarchs, footballers and drug barons.

Tier 2: Has-been versions of the above, mostly German, now bought by anyone leaseworthy enough and essentially new mass-production ware.

Tier 3; Wannabe-2s for misty-eyed enthusiasts or sheer cheapskates; Alfa Romeo, Borgward, other zombie brands including Acura.

T4; Mass-produced vehicles for those not interested in cars at all, or inverted brand-snobs when they occasionally punt a real cracker out of engineering. Which they do.

T5; Comedy vehicles. Usually because of a hilariously surreal name applied to a blatant and very-uncrashworthy rip-off of a successful Western design. Probably the most interesting segment ATM.

 

Have you attempted to go new car shopping .......

 

No; I find observing the industry rather more interesting than purchasing anything its current product range.

Tier 7c; old fart who is interested in well-engineered, technically-advanced cars that are interesting technologically or because of their linear responses, of the type that were too complicated for the buying market to be able to comprehend or the sales reptiles to explain adequately, such that the brand has totally or virtually given up.

 

There's some models of BMW / AUDI that belong there, with their endless lists of short names for ever more electronic gizmos that you'll probably never need.

I'm still trying to get my noggin around PCP not being some sort of highly addictive drug for idiots.

 

That works...I might set up a company called Free Base Leasing, for real addicts.

Trouble is, most of this FREDdy German rubbish doesn't drive very nicely, compared to this old-skool stuff. Having said that, one cannot even lease a Jaaag with AWD in this cnutry, so a Bavarian Granada's as good as it gets.

 

My other car is a sub sector 10 car -- cheaper than cheap. You can tell these are so as when removing internal plastic trim (handbrake trim surround) the bolts go all the way through to the exterior and are corroded in place.

 

You never know, there may be a Jag with AWD at the next herts meet 😉

 

I had to visit the new BMW showrooms near me today. Bizarre experience. Staff sat in funny little cubicles framed by slats of wood. Two hotel type receptionists. Cars in rows. Felt sterile. I assume they are mostly catering for tier 2? I won't be rushing back.

 

Our very own local BM dealer (how apt is the image that description conjures?) is a hive of cash-extraction slimers bar one or two who must be on performance improvement plans or something
Sytner. The place must cost a small fortune to run, it's massive and usually teeming with utter twats. Now BMW are enforcing std servicing costs which i bet causes them such pain

anyway, they invite me to VIP events regularly, i'd rather skin my own nuts but was ill timed enough to arrive at the parts dept during one. I kid you not they had a red carpet and cut outs of Brad Pitt and Jolie and other 'schleb' couples. and cheap sparkling wine. at a car dealer.

I walked in with the missus "Look at this cheesy shyte!".

Sales manager storms over 'can i see your invite?'

"Nope, here for parts"


I agree with the new segments, approved. Good work Nick.

 

cant there be a tier 6 - cars that have been shamelessly copied and imitated until they all look/drive/sound the same
oh wait, that will be every fecking tier except 1 and maybe the I8