I was the 'victim' of the most bizarre road rage incident this morning. I was being tailgated as I was driving along a B road in the New Forest on the way to work, but worse than anything I'd ever seen before. I literally couldn't see the grill, lights, or even the bonnet of the car behind, just the beaming face of the bozo driver, as if she was sitting on my back seat (I wasn't in the S).

After narrowly avoiding rear-ending me for the third time, the driver, a thirty-something woman taking her son to school, started giving me the full beam treatment and waving wildly at me to pull over. I duly obliged and she, without the faintest recognition of the irony of her words, said to me "can you be careful please".

I suggested to her that she was too close to the rear of my car, but she insisted she wasn't because she drives down that road everyday and she knows the speed limit. I wasn't quite sure of how those two facts meant she wasn't too bloody close, but then she contradicted herself by pointing out that she was only close to me because I pulled out in front of her, albeit that was about two miles back down the road, not at all dangerous and giving her about five minutes driving time to re-establish the two second rule.

So, clearly my fault then.

Anyway, we said our goodbyes - the exchange went some thing like this:

Me: you're a very stupid lady.
The very stupid lady: you're a typical male.
Me: Dick!

And went about the rest of our days.

I truly despair of some road users' blithering ignorance to the world around them.

 

Haha

Some people are complete morons.

More than a few years back i berated a woman for driving behind me with her main beam on

"My other f@#king lights don't work"

"Well f@#king dont drive it until they are fixed you thick hunt"

Also had a woman cut me up in a truck and brake test me after i beeped her. She got stuck at a junction and i got out, expecting it would be a bloke and ready to bust his head.. She shat herself. Who drives like that ffs?

 

Was she fit?

 

 

Most blokes realise that if they step out too far out of line, they'll get decked.

Many women think that because they don't face the same sanction, they've never been wrong in their lives.

Stupid people rarely realise they're stupid. Only the wise ones do.

 

I had a guy beep me today for not allowing him to jump the queue and filter back in, in front of me

I laughed at him. The bint in a shit 206 in front of him did it to a grab wagon and nearly git got. Dur

 

I hate it when I nearly git got.

 

"Woman".

No further questions.

 

Spoken like a typical male!

 

any more talk like that Gareth and you gonna git got

Edit to be clear this is a Wire-ism i like a lot.