This one?

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone
you don't know.

It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a
phone
call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone
could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed
the
last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided
to
call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and
hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'ass hole' next to it, and put it in
my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
really
bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling
would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said: "Hi, this is John Smith from the
Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the
Caller ID
program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently
waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the
spot.
The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so
I
wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's
parked right out in front."

"What's your name?"

"My name is Don Burgemeyer," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole."

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several
months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I
came up
with an idea.

I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I screamed back.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"My name is Don Burgemeyer."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"I live at 1802 West 34th Street, ASSHOLE! It's a yellow house, with my
black beemer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over there right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said...again, without hanging up.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"

"Yeah, you'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News to let them know about the war going down on
West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th
street.

There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of
six
squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.

NOW, I feel better.

Anger management really works!!!

 

 

Or this one?

http://www.priapism.com

 

The funny thing is, even after seeing it in umpteen threads today, I still haven't read it.

 

Anger management really works!!!

NOW, I feel better.

squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.
six
There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of

street.
West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th
Then I called Channel 9 News to let them know about the war going down on

1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

now."
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

"Yeah, you'll what?" I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"

"Hello, asshole," I said...again, without hanging up.

"Hello?" he said.

Then I called Asshole #2.

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

saying your prayers."
He said, "I'm coming over there right now, Don. And you had better start

black beemer parked in front."
"I live at 1802 West 34th Street, ASSHOLE! It's a yellow house, with my

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"My name is Don Burgemeyer."

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"Make me," I screamed back.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Yeah," I said.

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Hello."

I called Asshole #1.

with an idea.
came up
months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

"Don, you're an asshole."

"Yes?"

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"My name is Don Burgemeyer," he said.

"What's your name?"

parked right out in front."
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, it is."

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his

wrote down his number.
I
The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so
spot.
waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the
patiently
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

program?"
Caller ID
Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the
So, I called his number and said: "Hi, this is John Smith from the

would have to stop.
calling
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'

It always cheered me up.

bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
really
my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
I wrote his number down with the word 'ass hole' next to it, and put it in

hung up.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and

call the 'wrong' number again.
to
last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided
the
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed

could be so rude.
anyone
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?"

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
phone
It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a

you don't know.
someone
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it

Anger management really works!!!

NOW, I feel better.

squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.
six
There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of

street.
West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th
Then I called Channel 9 News to let them know about the war going down on

1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

now."
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

"Yeah, you'll what?" I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"

"Hello, asshole," I said...again, without hanging up.

"Hello?" he said.

Then I called Asshole #2.

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

saying your prayers."
He said, "I'm coming over there right now, Don. And you had better start

black beemer parked in front."
"I live at 1802 West 34th Street, ASSHOLE! It's a yellow house, with my

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"My name is Don Burgemeyer."

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"Make me," I screamed back.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Yeah," I said.

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Hello."

I called Asshole #1.

with an idea.
came up
months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

"Don, you're an asshole."

"Yes?"

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"My name is Don Burgemeyer," he said.

"What's your name?"

parked right out in front."
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, it is."

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his

wrote down his number.
I
The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so
spot.
waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the
patiently
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

program?"
Caller ID
Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the
So, I called his number and said: "Hi, this is John Smith from the

would have to stop.
calling
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'

It always cheered me up.

bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
really
my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
I wrote his number down with the word 'ass hole' next to it, and put it in

hung up.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and

call the 'wrong' number again.
to
last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided
the
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed

could be so rude.
anyone
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?"

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
phone
It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a

you don't know.
someone
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it

 

I"m going to report this thread to a mod

 

From the Mod Squad? Lincoln Hayes or Julie?

 

Now that goes back a few years!