Attn: The Raptor
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From: Oxfordshire
Attn: The Raptor
Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, with lull in their conversation Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"SEX!" he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" "I know,"
Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."
" Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK.
She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood.
Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's"
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, with lull in their conversation Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"SEX!" he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" "I know,"
Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."
" Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK.
She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood.
Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's"
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From: stuffed in a box
ROBIN: "holy novel, batman!"
BATMAN: "run Robin! This novel is too big for us to overcome."
ROBIN: "but if we don't stop this novel now, the world will be destroyed by the shear weight of the words golly gee."
BATMAN: "there is nothing we can do Robin, life as we know it, is finished. Here, take these cyanide pills."
ROBIN: *gulp*
BATMAN: "and now we wait...."
BATMAN: "run Robin! This novel is too big for us to overcome."
ROBIN: "but if we don't stop this novel now, the world will be destroyed by the shear weight of the words golly gee."
BATMAN: "there is nothing we can do Robin, life as we know it, is finished. Here, take these cyanide pills."
ROBIN: *gulp*
BATMAN: "and now we wait...."
