Bumped the whole page!
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,375
Likes: 1,618
From: La Crescenta, CA
Originally Posted by INTJ,Apr 24 2008, 03:31 PM
yes, and raptor has tendonitis
One day Pete was complaining to his friend '"y tennis elbow hurts. I better see a doctor". His friend"'Don't do that. There's a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. It's quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.00"' Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urine sample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer started to make a weird nose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper printed. It said: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor, it will be better in two weeks. Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water, and took urine samples from himself, his wife, his son, his daughter, and his dog. Then he poured in some motor oil from his car. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, poured the sample into the machine and deposited $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis: "Your water is hard, get a softener. Your wife's pregnant, it's not yours. Your daughter has Herpes. Your son has aids. Your dog has fleas. Your car's about to blow up. You still have tennis elbow. And if you don't quit beating off, you're going to go blind!"
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 42,116
Likes: 31
From: Over the Electric Grapevine.....man
Originally Posted by The Raptor,Apr 24 2008, 06:36 PM
That reminds me of a joke:
One day Pete was complaining to his friend '"y tennis elbow hurts. I better see a doctor". His friend"'Don't do that. There's a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. It's quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.00"' Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urine sample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer started to make a weird nose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper printed. It said: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor, it will be better in two weeks. Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water, and took urine samples from himself, his wife, his son, his daughter, and his dog. Then he poured in some motor oil from his car. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, poured the sample into the machine and deposited $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis: "Your water is hard, get a softener. Your wife's pregnant, it's not yours. Your daughter has Herpes. Your son has aids. Your dog has fleas. Your car's about to blow up. You still have tennis elbow. And if you don't quit beating off, you're going to go blind!"
One day Pete was complaining to his friend '"y tennis elbow hurts. I better see a doctor". His friend"'Don't do that. There's a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. It's quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.00"' Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urine sample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer started to make a weird nose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper printed. It said: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor, it will be better in two weeks. Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water, and took urine samples from himself, his wife, his son, his daughter, and his dog. Then he poured in some motor oil from his car. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, poured the sample into the machine and deposited $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis: "Your water is hard, get a softener. Your wife's pregnant, it's not yours. Your daughter has Herpes. Your son has aids. Your dog has fleas. Your car's about to blow up. You still have tennis elbow. And if you don't quit beating off, you're going to go blind!"
good one Rb
