Riding the favourite at Cheltenham, a jockey was well ahead of the field.

Suddenly he was hit on the head by a seventeen-pound turkey and a fusillade of brussel sprouts. He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck from behind by a box of Christmas Crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence.

With great skill he managed to steer the horse to the front of the field once more when, on the run in, he was struck on the head by a bottle of port and then just when he was regaining his balance in the saddle he was clocked by a massive Christmas pudding. Thus distracted, he succeeded in coming only second.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

He immediately went to the stewards to complain that he had been seriously hampered.

 

groan...