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Old Apr 11, 2007 | 12:03 PM
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Default Did you ever wonder.....

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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Old Apr 11, 2007 | 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by The Raptor,Apr 11 2007, 12:03 PM
Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
1. Yes.

2. He has to be a leader of men, and not in middle management. Really, the mitigating factor too is the level of conspiracy behind the murder.

3. We overbook planes too. Same theory.

4. The quality of clothes is the sole deciding factor as to whether you're in heaven, limbo, or pergatory. In heaven, you get to wear what you want. Limbo, you're stuck having to shop at Kohl's. Purgatory is Kmart. . . from 1977.

5. Cheaper cost of the box, and easier integration into older storage solutions (namely, other delivery boxes). If Domino's weren't a national chain, their cost on those custom boxes would be QUITE a bit more than the regular boxes.

6. That's a Trich question.

7. Pragmatism is for the weak.

8. Because we still got to dream of ( o Y o )

9. Yes. The building has to be ADA-compliant, but the proceedings are immune from common sense.

10. TV cameras don't steal your soul, only film.

11. We like acting like we're rich. The only difference is, rich people just buy in bulk (read: penthouse suite).

12. To have a cool, refreshing Winston cigarette of course. Nine of ten doctors prefer Winstons over the competition.

13. The original word for "bra" ended with no 's,' while the original words for "panties" did.

14. There are indecent people in the world.

15. They call my Jimmy-Ray.

16. If a Hybrid is shared by anyone and Al Gore, is he any less a stiff?

17. It would've voided the warranty.

18. Pluto's the bitch.

19. I could buy a hooker, but I prefer the thrill of the hunt.

20. Baby vegetables.

21. Do bozos come from bozons?

22. Ask Mozart.

23. I didn't, but I'm still waiting for Mozart to pick up the damn phone.

24. It's closer to the hem of your pants.

25. You weren't blowing hard enough for a sustained amount of time.
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Old Apr 11, 2007 | 02:13 PM
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Old Apr 11, 2007 | 02:40 PM
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That's pretty good!
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Old Apr 13, 2007 | 02:47 PM
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Originally Posted by problem_child,Apr 11 2007, 02:40 PM
That's pretty good!
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Old Apr 13, 2007 | 04:33 PM
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daaaaaaaaaaamn. i'm at a loss for words
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Old Apr 14, 2007 | 11:12 PM
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haha that was worth reading

and i never realized the abc/twinkle little star song thing before
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Old Apr 15, 2007 | 06:07 AM
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Good stuff!!!

And...........



Why is there braille at a drive up ATM???



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Old Apr 15, 2007 | 06:56 AM
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We drive on a parkway, yet park on a driveway.
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Old Apr 15, 2007 | 10:11 AM
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Originally Posted by The Raptor,Apr 11 2007, 02:03 PM
Can you cry under water?
I'm a man. I cannot cry anywhere.
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