Ebonics lesson
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From: Honolulu
Ebonics lesson
I was looking at some old posts from ClubRSX and found this funny one. Essentially the original poster came in to posted a story about an accident during a test drive. The post was one long sentence and quite frankly hard to read (not much punctuation either) One of the replies attempted to translate into ENGLISH!
Translation
quote:
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Originally posted by IronMonkey
aight kiddies check this shit out...me and my boi just survived a roll over in an RSX...check the story...aight me an my boi adrian were just illin and i wanted to show him the new car im gonna get 2002 Acura bad ass RSX typ-s
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Hello and welcome, people! I have quite an incredible tale to tell... a close friend and I have undergone a tremendous ordeal otherwise known as a 'rollover' in the Acura RSX where the vehicle topsides and careens end over end. It's quite an adventure which I would like to share... Adrian, the name of my close companion, and I were simply enjoying the day when I decided it would be well to show him the latest model 2002 Acura RSX, which is the car which I will soon purchase. Specifically, the go-get-em-tiger Type-S.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...well we went to Acura dealership (no names needed) in but they didn't have any so we looked at the base model well anyway me and my boi were peepin it and this dude took us for a test drive...well long story short this punk bitch flip (no offense to all you filipinos i still love ya'll) took us to a desserted windy road with no shoulder and no room for error and that fool was punching it...takin turns pretty fast the car was handling pretty good...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Having visited our local Acura dealership (the name of which will remain anonymous at this time), we soon found that none carried our choice vehicle. In fact, the only model we could query was the base model RSX. While we were standing in appraisal, a salesperson of Phillipino descent (This is in no way a mar against Phillipinos. Quit the contrary! Let it be known that I have quite a love for Phillipinos!) approached and offered to take us upon a test drive. Soon after, we found ourselves precariously soaring down a twisty and winding road which was not only void of human presence, but incredibly narrow as well. There was little to no margin for driver's error, yet the salesperson of Phillipino descent drove onward at a most high velocity. Even then, the manhandling of the vehicle proved steadfast, and we marvelled greatly upon the precision and control of said vehicle.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
he busted a U-turn and he asked if i wanted to drive i said no cuzz i was test drove the base model before and was hoping the the type-s and my homeboi said no...so the salesman was like "you are gay"...anyways this fool pulled out and was haulin ass down the road and he took a sharp left turn that you are suppossed to take at 25 like at 65+...he fish tailed and he tried to correct it but he ****ed up and we hit the inbankment and we did a ****in 180 flip gaaaaaah deeeeeamn
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The driver soon steered the vehicle around and pulled to a stop. He then offered me the opportunity to partake of this vehicle's controls, an offer which I anxiously denied. Unbekownst to the salesperson, I had previously enjoyed the experience of said similar model, the base RSX. This time we had been awaiting the higher caliber experience of the Type-S. My companion concurred, and suddenly we received a most unkind retort by the salesperson, who sharply remarked that we "appeared to him as one who would bat for the opposing team, or one who had greater interest in flamboyant apparel, over that of the opposite sex." Turning back to the vehicle, this most rude salesman then launched in a speeding frenzy that attacked an approaching corner (which mind you, should be taken at speeds of 25 miles per hour at most) in the ludicrous limit of 65 miles per hour! The car vehemently objected with a sharp jesture, and swung its backside out towards the embankment! The madness had just begun,... for when I and my companion considered this ordeal to be over, the car veered end over end and we soon found ourselves head over heels! For the Love of God! this was something abhorrently unheard of!
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
all i remember is hittin the imbankment and rolling and then being upside down...and this fool bolted out his window..i had to go out his window too cuzz mine was blocked...i came out and my hands got ****ed i pulled out my boi and then we were like faaaaaaaaaaaawk gah deamn anyways kiddies im fine and my homie is fine and the sales person is fine too...heheh but lookin for a new job...the car is totally ****ed and im gonna go take pics tomorrow so ill show em to you...can you say LAWSUIT???? bling bling...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The slim thread of memory would afford only this: that my world had been capsized... literally! This doggert of a salesman (whom I suspected to be a simpleton of sorts) darted quickly out of his window, the actions of which I too would mimic in order to escape the wreckage. Oh fateful day! for when I crawled out of the infernal heap, my hands were besotted and scorned by the crude road and only after much pain and conselation did any semblance of healing occur. But there in that moment my companion and I uttered such curses at our predicament,... curses that have never before been heard of! You may rest easy, dear reader, for neither I nor my companion have suffered any enduring harm. By the fates, neither did the foolish salesman, though I doubt his employment would escape this incident as unscathed as he. Peering over the wreckage, I could only say that the vehicle was beyong repair. I will make attempts to bring visual comfirmation to you, but first, I must make legal reprimands my firstmost condition. For as the sparkle of jewels, so was the anger and passion that I had at that moment for retribution.
quote:
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anyways my neck hurts and i have a headache so...two fingahs and im out...payse out and much love...oh yeah p.s...i was making small talk with this fool before the accident and he was like..."drag racing is so over rated" "i mean how much skill does it take to go straight and push a clutch" "i like to moutain race" hahahha...what a ****in tard...hahahah
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, dear reader, as i write this letter, there is a sharp pain emanating from my neck, one as though of ravens cawing in my mind. I must take leave of you now, but rest assured that I mean you well, and wish you only the best. I would hope that this ordeal never befall the least of you!
Ah yes, in hindsight there was one more thing. The salesperson mentioned to me in passing, that the sudden accelleration of two vehicles at a marked position was nothing more than overgrown fancy and simple hysteria! "For what is that," said he, "to man a clutch and to point a vehicle in straight positions? A real race, can only be found in God's glorious heights, the ones found only on mountain trails." Oh the humor my friends! Oh the chuckles and blush that now rises to my cheeks by this fool from his words. It is enough,...yes, quite enough to gag upon.
(hehe... damn, i don't know which one's worse! hehe)
Translation
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by IronMonkey
aight kiddies check this shit out...me and my boi just survived a roll over in an RSX...check the story...aight me an my boi adrian were just illin and i wanted to show him the new car im gonna get 2002 Acura bad ass RSX typ-s
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello and welcome, people! I have quite an incredible tale to tell... a close friend and I have undergone a tremendous ordeal otherwise known as a 'rollover' in the Acura RSX where the vehicle topsides and careens end over end. It's quite an adventure which I would like to share... Adrian, the name of my close companion, and I were simply enjoying the day when I decided it would be well to show him the latest model 2002 Acura RSX, which is the car which I will soon purchase. Specifically, the go-get-em-tiger Type-S.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...well we went to Acura dealership (no names needed) in but they didn't have any so we looked at the base model well anyway me and my boi were peepin it and this dude took us for a test drive...well long story short this punk bitch flip (no offense to all you filipinos i still love ya'll) took us to a desserted windy road with no shoulder and no room for error and that fool was punching it...takin turns pretty fast the car was handling pretty good...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Having visited our local Acura dealership (the name of which will remain anonymous at this time), we soon found that none carried our choice vehicle. In fact, the only model we could query was the base model RSX. While we were standing in appraisal, a salesperson of Phillipino descent (This is in no way a mar against Phillipinos. Quit the contrary! Let it be known that I have quite a love for Phillipinos!) approached and offered to take us upon a test drive. Soon after, we found ourselves precariously soaring down a twisty and winding road which was not only void of human presence, but incredibly narrow as well. There was little to no margin for driver's error, yet the salesperson of Phillipino descent drove onward at a most high velocity. Even then, the manhandling of the vehicle proved steadfast, and we marvelled greatly upon the precision and control of said vehicle.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
he busted a U-turn and he asked if i wanted to drive i said no cuzz i was test drove the base model before and was hoping the the type-s and my homeboi said no...so the salesman was like "you are gay"...anyways this fool pulled out and was haulin ass down the road and he took a sharp left turn that you are suppossed to take at 25 like at 65+...he fish tailed and he tried to correct it but he ****ed up and we hit the inbankment and we did a ****in 180 flip gaaaaaah deeeeeamn
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The driver soon steered the vehicle around and pulled to a stop. He then offered me the opportunity to partake of this vehicle's controls, an offer which I anxiously denied. Unbekownst to the salesperson, I had previously enjoyed the experience of said similar model, the base RSX. This time we had been awaiting the higher caliber experience of the Type-S. My companion concurred, and suddenly we received a most unkind retort by the salesperson, who sharply remarked that we "appeared to him as one who would bat for the opposing team, or one who had greater interest in flamboyant apparel, over that of the opposite sex." Turning back to the vehicle, this most rude salesman then launched in a speeding frenzy that attacked an approaching corner (which mind you, should be taken at speeds of 25 miles per hour at most) in the ludicrous limit of 65 miles per hour! The car vehemently objected with a sharp jesture, and swung its backside out towards the embankment! The madness had just begun,... for when I and my companion considered this ordeal to be over, the car veered end over end and we soon found ourselves head over heels! For the Love of God! this was something abhorrently unheard of!
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
all i remember is hittin the imbankment and rolling and then being upside down...and this fool bolted out his window..i had to go out his window too cuzz mine was blocked...i came out and my hands got ****ed i pulled out my boi and then we were like faaaaaaaaaaaawk gah deamn anyways kiddies im fine and my homie is fine and the sales person is fine too...heheh but lookin for a new job...the car is totally ****ed and im gonna go take pics tomorrow so ill show em to you...can you say LAWSUIT???? bling bling...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The slim thread of memory would afford only this: that my world had been capsized... literally! This doggert of a salesman (whom I suspected to be a simpleton of sorts) darted quickly out of his window, the actions of which I too would mimic in order to escape the wreckage. Oh fateful day! for when I crawled out of the infernal heap, my hands were besotted and scorned by the crude road and only after much pain and conselation did any semblance of healing occur. But there in that moment my companion and I uttered such curses at our predicament,... curses that have never before been heard of! You may rest easy, dear reader, for neither I nor my companion have suffered any enduring harm. By the fates, neither did the foolish salesman, though I doubt his employment would escape this incident as unscathed as he. Peering over the wreckage, I could only say that the vehicle was beyong repair. I will make attempts to bring visual comfirmation to you, but first, I must make legal reprimands my firstmost condition. For as the sparkle of jewels, so was the anger and passion that I had at that moment for retribution.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
anyways my neck hurts and i have a headache so...two fingahs and im out...payse out and much love...oh yeah p.s...i was making small talk with this fool before the accident and he was like..."drag racing is so over rated" "i mean how much skill does it take to go straight and push a clutch" "i like to moutain race" hahahha...what a ****in tard...hahahah
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, dear reader, as i write this letter, there is a sharp pain emanating from my neck, one as though of ravens cawing in my mind. I must take leave of you now, but rest assured that I mean you well, and wish you only the best. I would hope that this ordeal never befall the least of you!
Ah yes, in hindsight there was one more thing. The salesperson mentioned to me in passing, that the sudden accelleration of two vehicles at a marked position was nothing more than overgrown fancy and simple hysteria! "For what is that," said he, "to man a clutch and to point a vehicle in straight positions? A real race, can only be found in God's glorious heights, the ones found only on mountain trails." Oh the humor my friends! Oh the chuckles and blush that now rises to my cheeks by this fool from his words. It is enough,...yes, quite enough to gag upon.
(hehe... damn, i don't know which one's worse! hehe)
