The four great religious truths.
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
I just read this in its entirety over the weekend:
http://www.objectivethought.com/atheism/carlin.html
http://www.objectivethought.com/atheism/carlin.html
[QUOTE]When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
Moses come ridin' up on a quasar
His spurs were jingling, the door was ajar
His buckle was silver, his manner was bold
And I asked him to come in out of the cold.
His brain was boiling, his reason was spent
Nothing is borrowed, nothing is lent
I asked him for mercy, He gave he gave me a gun.
Now and again these things just got to be done.
Abraham and Isaac sitting on a fence
You'd get right to work if you had any sense
You know the one thing we need is a left-hand monkey wrench.
Gideon come up with his eyes on the floor
Said "You ain't got a hinge, you can't close the door."
Moses stood up a full six foot ten
Said "You can't close the door when the wall's caved in."
Ask him for water, he poured me some wine
We finished the bottle and broke into mine.
You get what you come for, ya ready to go
Well, it's one in ten thousand that come for the show.
Abraham and Isaac diggin' on a well
Mama came quick with the water witch spell
Well cool clear water well you can't ever tell.
Abraham and Isaac sitting on a fence
You'd get right to work if you had any sense
You know the one thing we need is a left-hand monkey wrench.
His spurs were jingling, the door was ajar
His buckle was silver, his manner was bold
And I asked him to come in out of the cold.
His brain was boiling, his reason was spent
Nothing is borrowed, nothing is lent
I asked him for mercy, He gave he gave me a gun.
Now and again these things just got to be done.
Abraham and Isaac sitting on a fence
You'd get right to work if you had any sense
You know the one thing we need is a left-hand monkey wrench.
Gideon come up with his eyes on the floor
Said "You ain't got a hinge, you can't close the door."
Moses stood up a full six foot ten
Said "You can't close the door when the wall's caved in."
Ask him for water, he poured me some wine
We finished the bottle and broke into mine.
You get what you come for, ya ready to go
Well, it's one in ten thousand that come for the show.
Abraham and Isaac diggin' on a well
Mama came quick with the water witch spell
Well cool clear water well you can't ever tell.
Abraham and Isaac sitting on a fence
You'd get right to work if you had any sense
You know the one thing we need is a left-hand monkey wrench.
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Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the r










