A grab bag sampler of The Raptor's misadventures
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,376
Likes: 1,618
From: La Crescenta, CA
A grab bag sampler of The Raptor's misadventures
Almost got kicked out of the altar boys for setting the altar on fire just before high mass.
Got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for hiding behind a bush and ambushing the scoutmaster's son (he was a real weenie) with water balloons -- one merit badge short of Eagle Scout.
Almost got kicked out of high school just before graduation for starting a fire in a trash can in the bathroom.
Almost got fired as a boxboy for losing control of 47 shopping carts, which ran through a plate glass window into the store, knocking over a fat lady.
Pledge class got his fraternity suspended for stealing the religious fraternity's neon sign, hanging it from the campus clock tower, chaining a rival fraternity member to his bed, and putting him, his bed, and his VW Beetle in the campus reflecting pool.
The hood flew off his Corvair on the freeway and sailed neatly through the passenger side windshield of a moving van behind him.
On the first night in the Air Force, drunk, fell backward into a reflecting pool with a girl he had just met.
In East Africa, wrecked five cars, stayed in a Masai village mud hut, almost got trampled by elephants, got stuck in a dry river bed and in the Serengeti (started walking at night, lost, after almost running over a pride of lions),where he and Mrs. Raptor got rescued by a drunk policeman and doctor and stayed in another mud hut -- all the while screwed up on powerful African ganja.
Stayed at two jungle camps on the Peruvian Amazon, bartered with a Yagua indian chief for a poison-tipped arrow blowgun, and got drunk with a bunch of Japanese from Japan who were listening to a tape of one them negotiating with an Argentine hooker.
Rolled van off the road and down a hill in Big Bear.
While partying with buddies before the Long Beach Grand Prix, got launched from a 14-foot high scaffolding, blowing out knee.
Got thrown out of a Pasadena Chamber of Commerce breakfast for telling a sexist joke (it wasn't so bad.)
Got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for hiding behind a bush and ambushing the scoutmaster's son (he was a real weenie) with water balloons -- one merit badge short of Eagle Scout.
Almost got kicked out of high school just before graduation for starting a fire in a trash can in the bathroom.
Almost got fired as a boxboy for losing control of 47 shopping carts, which ran through a plate glass window into the store, knocking over a fat lady.
Pledge class got his fraternity suspended for stealing the religious fraternity's neon sign, hanging it from the campus clock tower, chaining a rival fraternity member to his bed, and putting him, his bed, and his VW Beetle in the campus reflecting pool.
The hood flew off his Corvair on the freeway and sailed neatly through the passenger side windshield of a moving van behind him.
On the first night in the Air Force, drunk, fell backward into a reflecting pool with a girl he had just met.
In East Africa, wrecked five cars, stayed in a Masai village mud hut, almost got trampled by elephants, got stuck in a dry river bed and in the Serengeti (started walking at night, lost, after almost running over a pride of lions),where he and Mrs. Raptor got rescued by a drunk policeman and doctor and stayed in another mud hut -- all the while screwed up on powerful African ganja.
Stayed at two jungle camps on the Peruvian Amazon, bartered with a Yagua indian chief for a poison-tipped arrow blowgun, and got drunk with a bunch of Japanese from Japan who were listening to a tape of one them negotiating with an Argentine hooker.
Rolled van off the road and down a hill in Big Bear.
While partying with buddies before the Long Beach Grand Prix, got launched from a 14-foot high scaffolding, blowing out knee.
Got thrown out of a Pasadena Chamber of Commerce breakfast for telling a sexist joke (it wasn't so bad.)
.......whoa......
just the vision of that happening
toooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,376
Likes: 1,618
From: La Crescenta, CA
Zoe-
No salary, just free medical insurance with no deductibles and a supply of beautiful women.
Mom-
That lady never knew what hit her. I thought I killed her. We also worked until the store closed on Friday night, then sat in the large parking lot behind the store, drank the beer that people left behind in the bottoms of their shopping carts, held drag races across the parking lot, and egged the store.
No salary, just free medical insurance with no deductibles and a supply of beautiful women.
Mom-
That lady never knew what hit her. I thought I killed her. We also worked until the store closed on Friday night, then sat in the large parking lot behind the store, drank the beer that people left behind in the bottoms of their shopping carts, held drag races across the parking lot, and egged the store.
