The guy looks at the bartender and says "I'll have a gin and tonic and Oliver will have a whiskey sour." The bartender says "We don't serve dogs." The guy replies "Oliver isn't just an ordinary dog, he talks." The bartender says "Right. If I had $10 for every time I heard that one, I could retire." The guy says "No, really, he talks. Hang on, I want to go outside and get a newspaper from the newsrack." The guy gets up and walks outside. The dog looks at the bartender and says "So where's my whiskey sour, pal?" The bartender, eyes as big as saucers, says "You really can talk." The dog replies "Of course I talk." The bartender says "Say, listen, my wife works as a waitress at the diner next door. Here's $20, go order a cup of coffee from her. It'll blow her mind. You can keep the change." The dog takes the $20 in his mouth, hops off the barstool, and trots out the door. The guy comes back in with his paper, looks around, and asks "Where's Oliver?" The bartender says "He really can talk." The guy says "That's what I was trying to tell you." The bartender says "I sent him next door to order a cup of coffee from my wife. Come on, let's go watch." They walk outside and see Oliver in the alley having his way with a poodle. The guy says "Oliver, what are you doing? You've never done anything like this before." The dog turns around, looks up at him, and says "Hey, I've never had money before."

 

Here's another...

Two ropes are in a bar and order a couple of beers. The bartender says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve ropes here. It's bar policy. Get the **** out!" Furious, the two ropes hop out of the bar and decide to give it another try. One of the ropes decides to disguise himself so he messes up his hair, ties himself up in a ball, and hops back into the bar. The bartender says "HEY ROPE! Didn't I already tell you we don't serve ropes here???" The rope says "I'm a frayed knot!"

 

nice.

 

 

Bump.

 

Good one George

 

Good ones!!!!

 

..nice

 

 

good one....but I thought we were done with Raptor jokes