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Headlines from the year 2026.

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Old Apr 17, 2006 | 06:54 AM
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Default Headlines from the year 2026.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the fourth largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 100 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of American women drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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Old Apr 17, 2006 | 07:04 AM
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Originally Posted by The Raptor,Apr 17 2006, 10:54 AM
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
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Old Apr 17, 2006 | 07:06 AM
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Well if this becomes :apparently: true. Then I will be living somewhere else.
Can't have any fun anymore.
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Old Apr 17, 2006 | 07:26 AM
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WestSideBilly, Mocky & Zdave87 finally cash checks.
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Old Apr 17, 2006 | 07:30 AM
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Originally Posted by zdave87,Apr 17 2006, 11:26 AM
WestSideBilly, Mocky & Zdave87 finally cash checks.
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