A hunter walks into the woods and shoots a bear.
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Joined: Jul 2001
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From: La Crescenta, CA
A hunter walks into the woods and shoots a bear.
When the smoke clears, the hunter doesn't see the bear, which is now standing behind him. The bear taps him on the shoulder and say "No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can tear your throat out and eat you or I can poke you in the butt." The hunter doesn't want to die, so he lets the bear have his way with him. The hunter staggers back into town and buys a larger, more powerful gun. Then he goes back into the woods and shoots the bear again. Again, when the smoke clears, he doesn't see the bear, who is again standing behind him. The bear taps him on the shoulder and says "You know what to do." The hunter goes back to town and buys a bazooka. Then he returns to the woods, finds the bear, and fires the bazooka. The recoil knocks him on his back. Now the bear, standing over him, says "You're now just in this for the hunting, are you?"
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Joined: May 2001
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From: Nowhere
A different, more raptor-centric version:
George was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting.
He spotted a small brown bear and shot it.
There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.
The black bear said, "That was my cousin, and you have got two choices......Either I maul you to death or we have sex."
After considering briefly George decided to accede to the latter
alternative.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, George soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.
There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.
The grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake, George . That was my cousin and you have got two choices......Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
Again, George thought it was better to cooperate.
Although he survived it would take several months before George finally recovered.
Outraged he headed back to the woods and he managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.
He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.
The polar bear said, "Admit it George, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
George was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting.
He spotted a small brown bear and shot it.
There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.
The black bear said, "That was my cousin, and you have got two choices......Either I maul you to death or we have sex."
After considering briefly George decided to accede to the latter
alternative.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, George soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.
There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.
The grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake, George . That was my cousin and you have got two choices......Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
Again, George thought it was better to cooperate.
Although he survived it would take several months before George finally recovered.
Outraged he headed back to the woods and he managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.
He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.
The polar bear said, "Admit it George, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
