30 THINGS STRESSED WOMEN SAY AT WORK
>
> 1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Un you.
> 2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
> 3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
> 4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
> 5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
> 6. Do I look like a people person?
> 7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
> 8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
> 9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
> 10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and
> senseless
> acts of self-control?
> 11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
> 12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
> 13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
> 14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
> 15. Stress is when you wake up screaming a! nd you realize you haven't
> gone
> to sleep yet!
> 16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
> 17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
> 18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
> 19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
> 20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
> 21. Chaos, panic and disorder .. my work here is done.
> 22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
> 23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
> 24. Earth is full. Go home.
> 25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
> 26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
> 27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
> 28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
> 29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
> 30. Look in my eyes ... Do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?

 

Subject: FW: Why ARE men happier???

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple

creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care

of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white

T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car

mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station

restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and

think

of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add

character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100. People never stare at

your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't

cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Phone conversations are over in 30

seconds flat. You know stuff about

tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all

your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If

someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more

than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to

see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original

color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to

shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big

hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can

wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a

pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25

minutes.

 

BUMP.

 

And this would pertain 2 me HOW???

:goestogaragetosnapapicofherfavebumperstika:

 

Oooh, sensitive!

 

Dat wuz a Joke Son< :bigroostervoice: as in Mom not HAVING a Job

NOW READ DIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Son?

 

DUDE dontcha member dat cartoon with the BIG ROOSTER with da DEEEEEEP VOICE and he was allway's sayin stuff to the lido birdie with geekie glasses on and then tellin him it was a joke son??? common I knowz ur OLD enough if I remember it

 

But, but, I'm just a spring chicken.

 

2 funny the But but allmost sounded like da Big Rooster Tell me you memeber dat cartoon RB common