My friend Bob the Splooge Man thread
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,373
Likes: 1,617
From: La Crescenta, CA
My friend Bob the Splooge Man thread
I had this friend named Bob. Craziest 
er I've ever met. He was forever pulling up in front of my house about to get in a fight with some guy over a street altercation. My dad, a 25-year LAPD you didn't mess with, was forever shoveling the other guy back in his car. Bob once rolled his car right in front of us when we were playing volleyball at a church -- just foir the hell of it. Sparks everywhere. He once got so drunk at a party in Crestline (a mountain resort), we had to lock him in a tool shed and put a large chair behind the door so he wouldn't get out. Bob and I were once coming home from Tijuana late one night, drunk, and Bob fell asleep and drove straight across the Long Beach Traffic Circle. Took out a 30-foot sign and a large tree. Bob loved to run over cones in the street at high speed right in front of workers -- until they put concrete in some of them. Took out his oil pan, big time. We once had to bail Bob out of jail for tearing a phone out of a phone booth right in front of a cop. I could go on for a week with Bob stories. He eventually was killed in a private plane buzzing the beach. At his funeral, his mother told my mother it was all my fault because i was a bad influence on him.
Anyway, Bob claimed to be able to hit the ceiling with his splooge. A couple of his girlfreinds backed it up.
er I've ever met. He was forever pulling up in front of my house about to get in a fight with some guy over a street altercation. My dad, a 25-year LAPD you didn't mess with, was forever shoveling the other guy back in his car. Bob once rolled his car right in front of us when we were playing volleyball at a church -- just foir the hell of it. Sparks everywhere. He once got so drunk at a party in Crestline (a mountain resort), we had to lock him in a tool shed and put a large chair behind the door so he wouldn't get out. Bob and I were once coming home from Tijuana late one night, drunk, and Bob fell asleep and drove straight across the Long Beach Traffic Circle. Took out a 30-foot sign and a large tree. Bob loved to run over cones in the street at high speed right in front of workers -- until they put concrete in some of them. Took out his oil pan, big time. We once had to bail Bob out of jail for tearing a phone out of a phone booth right in front of a cop. I could go on for a week with Bob stories. He eventually was killed in a private plane buzzing the beach. At his funeral, his mother told my mother it was all my fault because i was a bad influence on him.Anyway, Bob claimed to be able to hit the ceiling with his splooge. A couple of his girlfreinds backed it up.
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,373
Likes: 1,617
From: La Crescenta, CA
Bob once got stopped by a cop and said "Do you know my dad, he's a Los Angeles Police Officer.' The cop says "what division?" Bob pauses, the points at me and says "Well, actually, his dad's a cop and I've heard him say that and I thought I could get away with it." The cop gets a call on his radio and says "Well, now I've got an emergency. It's your lucky day, Bob. I don't like people who lie to me." And off he goes.