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new element discovered

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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 06:37 AM
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Default new element discovered

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of

the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy

neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic

mass of 311.

These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons,

which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles

called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not

decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion

of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutron exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time,

since each reorganization will cause more morons to become

neutrons, forming isodopes.

The characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to

believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a

certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is called "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.
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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 06:40 AM
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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 06:50 AM
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Thats great!
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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 09:03 AM
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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 09:30 AM
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I guess Mikey will be selling tons of updated periodic tables.
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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 09:31 AM
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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 09:31 AM
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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 09:36 AM
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Originally Posted by PeaceLove&S2K,Jun 3 2005, 01:30 PM
I guess Mikey will be selling tons of updated periodic tables.
Urgh the just updated the food pyramid also.
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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 09:44 AM
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Old Jun 3, 2005 | 10:14 AM
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Hmmm....... it's funny b/c it's true
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