A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there
>he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.
>A gorgeous petite sister walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.
>The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Sir, did you
>call for me?"
>The mans replies, "No, what do you mean?"
>She says, "You must be new here, let me explain. It's a rule here that if
>you get an erection it implies you called for me."
>Smiling she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a
>towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
>The man continued to explore the colony's facilities.
>He enters the sauna and as he sat down he farted.
>Within a few minutes a huge, horrible, corpulent, hairy man lumbers out of
>the steam toward him.
>"Did you call for me?" says the hairy man.
>"No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer.
>"You must be new here," says the hairy man, "it is a rule here that if you
>fart it implies that you called for me."
>The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his
>way
>with him.
>The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the
>smiling, naked receptionist.
>"May I help you?" she says.
>The man yells, "Here is my membership card, you can have the key back, and
>you can keep the $500 membership fee."
>"But sir," she replies, "you've only been here a few hours, you haven't
>even
>had the chance to see all our facilities."
>The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 68 years old, I get a hard-on once a
>month, but I fart 15 times a day!"

 

George....that wasn't you was it?

 

No, Luke, I avoid huge, horrible, corpulent, hairy men in saunas at all costs -- and anywhere else, unless it's a client.

I recently had lunch with a client like that. I had a chef salad and iced tea. He had a 1/2 lb burger with fries, then another 1/2 lb burger with friesm and five martinis, which I paid for. He kept telling me that I didn't know how to enjoy life. I kept agreeing with him. Then he signed a contract for a project that paid for a new roof on my house and a remodeled kitchen. Two months later, he had a heart attack and damn near died. Stipid !

 

: shakes head as his stupidity :

 

So if a huge, horrible, corpulent, hairy CLIENT were to corner you in the sauna...

 

He'd better be throwing money at me. By the way, Brian, I got great, great mileage out of that joke in the gym this morning. The image of the huge, hairy corpulent man easily spinning the old guy around and bending him over a bench is hilarious.

 

i've been sharing it with the office and it's been a hit!