A woman answered the knock at her door and found a destitute man. He wanted to earn money by doing odd jobs, so she asked, "Can you paint?"

"Yes," he said, "I'm a pretty good painter."

"Well, here's a gallon of green paint and a brush. Go behind the house and you'll see a porch that needs repainting. Be very careful. When you are done, I'll look it over and pay you what it's worth."

It wasn't more than an hour before he knocked again. "All finished!" he reported with a smile.

"Did you do a good job?" she asked.

"Yes, but lady, there's one thing I'd like to point out to you. That's not a Porsche back there. That's a Mercedes."

 

A church needed it's steeple painted. Because of the danger no reputable painter would take the job.

The church hired a couple of handymen to do the job. They were doing okay until near the end when they started to run low on paint. They didn't want to pay for more paint so since it was latex they thinned it with water.

As they put on the finishing touches it started pouring rain, ruining the paint job.

A voice boomed out of the clouds, "Repaint And Thin No More".

 

Paints were a very precious quantity in the good old days, and British merchants could make a young fortune supplying paints to the colonies.

One company sent a clipper ship full of red paint across the ocean. It had the very bad luck to collide with another ship full of blue paint.

As a result of this disaster, both crews were... marooned.

 

These jokes are so cold, I had to apply two coats?

 

I think jason has just found www.theworldsoldestjokes.com

 

That is possible