And more importantly, if she does ask that, teach her to not get so pissed when the guy says "well... yeah"

 

Girl - encourage her to elope.
Boy - encourage him to marry a rich girl

 

so many lessons so little

 

Boy ~ Teach him to respect a woman, no matter who she is. Teach him how to stand up for himself, while not putting others down. Show him that sometimes humility can be a good thing. Make sure he understands that confidence will only get you so far, and that knowledge and ability will take you the rest of the way. Let him know that no matter how old or how big he gets, you will always be able to put him in his place. Ensure the child knows that a public tantrum will only embarass himself and gain nothing more. Instill a sense of resposibilty in him while he is young, and he will always understand what accounability is. Try to make him realize that the best thing to say after he makes a mistake is "I'm sorry" and that though there may be an explanation, there is never an excuse. Show him that sometimes what you give is what you get, and other times you give everything and get nothing in return. Most important: let him be a boy, but make sure he becomes a man.





Girl ~ She will need to understand that after mopping with a solvent based floor-cleaner, it is best to do a clean-water rinse afterwards. Never dry colors on high heat. The more dishes you pack into a dishwasher, the less clean they will get. Never leave an empty pot/pan on a heated burner, it will scorch the finish. when baking, never use milk when you can use half n half instead. Covering a roast and basting frequently will ensure tender juiciness. Never under any circumstances should she dare to substitute dishwashing soap for dishwashing liquid. Show her that Oxi-Clean works better than bleach, but works best WITH bleach. She should understand that a few grains of rice in the salt shaker prevents clumping in a humid environment. And most important; let her be a girl but make sure she's in by 10PM.








Seriously though, I'm sure that you two will know what to do and when to do it. You'll end up being the cool Heeb parents who let their kid have parties but keep things under control. And the best thing is, your kid will be the one either driving a vintage S or a brand new one when he turns 16.

 

when's the little bacon-eater due?

 

Holy shit, C-bass...

 

Nov 16th Great wisdom oh wise THANKS

 

Teach the little tyke to drive a stick early.

 

Boy-tell him that boxers are better than briefs. Gotta let the "boys" breathe you know.
Boy-always put the seat down after you pee.

Girl-tell her that if she has any "woman problems" to ask Debs and not you.
Girl-always take advantage of "ladies drink free"

 

Thanks Ken, I surely will