The Corner House of Whores and Monkeys. Enter for Fun & Shenanigans! We're weird here. In the most awesome way possible.

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture

Thread Tools
 
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 09:59 AM
  #1  
The Unabageler's Avatar
Thread Starter
Former Moderator
 
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 20,448
Likes: 0
From: internet
Default A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture

when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response.

Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."

"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

"OK, why not." answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd.

"That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answers the shepherd.

"You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you know jack-shit about my business. ......Now give me back my dog."
Reply
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 10:27 AM
  #2  
The Raptor's Avatar
Gold Member (Premium)
20 Year Member
Community Builder
Active Streak: 30 Days
Liked
 
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,364
Likes: 1,614
From: La Crescenta, CA
Default

I posted this awhile back, but it's still damn funny. Thank you for reminding me of it, Josh. Now I can tell it at the USC tailgate parties Saturday.
Reply
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 03:05 PM
  #3  
The Raptor's Avatar
Gold Member (Premium)
20 Year Member
Community Builder
Active Streak: 30 Days
Liked
 
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,364
Likes: 1,614
From: La Crescenta, CA
Default

Bump for Josh.
Reply
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 03:06 PM
  #4  
S2K1's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 28,465
Likes: 0
From: SLC, UT
Default

Reply
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 03:50 PM
  #5  
The Unabageler's Avatar
Thread Starter
Former Moderator
 
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 20,448
Likes: 0
From: internet
Default

yarr, it's drivin' me nuts!
Reply
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 03:53 PM
  #6  
The Raptor's Avatar
Gold Member (Premium)
20 Year Member
Community Builder
Active Streak: 30 Days
Liked
 
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,364
Likes: 1,614
From: La Crescenta, CA
Default

No, that was your pirate joke.
Reply
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 03:54 PM
  #7  
ltweintz's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 18,759
Likes: 0
From: Wheeler Army Airfield, HI
Default




HAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!
Reply
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 06:17 PM
  #8  
Hoonda's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 9,292
Likes: 3
From: Under your bed
Default

I can't even count how many times I've heard this one...




one, five, ninety-nine, three, sixty-two, fourty-three, eleven, five!
Reply
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 06:20 PM
  #9  
tokyo_james's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 65,827
Likes: 2
From: FCUK
Default

Originally posted by Hoonda
I can't even count how many times I've heard this one...




one, five, ninety-nine, three, sixty-two, fourty-three, eleven, five!

Don't start upsetting Josh, or you could lose that PWA badge as quickly as you got it .....
Reply
Old Sep 11, 2003 | 06:26 PM
  #10  
Hoonda's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 9,292
Likes: 3
From: Under your bed
Default

obviously my joke didn't come through very well... or you're just stupid... the point was that
I can't even count
Reply



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:58 PM.