ok, here's the lowdown: I've been dating this girl for two weeks or so, starting to lose interest but still cool to hang out with her. I was supposed to hang out last night but my boss called me up and said "I have to go meet with aerosmith, will you entertain my girlfriend." Now, even if I hadn't known her before him and we weren't friends, she's pretty hot and who can't turn down a night in a hot tub getting high with a hot girl? So I called the girl i'm dating and said my boss asked me for a favor, I have to work late. Which is mostly true (I hate lying). I said I'd call later. midnight goes by, then 1am and we finally take a break from the tub. I check my cellphone, 5 missed calls, 2 voicemails. Listen to the voicemails, she was really really pissed. the last line from her was "call me or i'm going to find you." Now at this point I really don't want to call, even less than I did before. I talk it over w/ the boss and friend and they say "red flags!!!" and I completely agree. We decide that it's best to wait till morning because I am a really mellow guy and maybe she'll calm down by then.

yeah right.

I get home around 330 and fall asleep. 430 there's knocking at my door, but I'm not gonna get up for anyone who knocks at my door at that hour unless they're cops and are about to break it down anyway. So I stay in bed. I hear my neighbors getting up and being pissed. she stops knocking at about 5 and leaves. Comes back at 530, knocks for a bit, then says "I'm stealing your license plates and throwing them in the ocean if you're not out here in 2 minutes." I get out of bed, go take a piss, go outside and lo and behold my plates are gone. I call the police and make a report. She calls my house line a few minutes later and blah blah blah she won't return them blah blah blah I hold my voice recorder up to the phone to catch some of what she's saying blah blah blah, blah blah blah I hang up. She calls back and says I can pick them up at her office in the federal courthouse in san jose. I get more on record of her saying shit then I hang up. 10 minutes later she calls and says she's going to bring them by. I say good, and hang up.

15 minutes later she drives up, starts crying at me about how I lied and led her on for two weeks blah blah blah I'm a real mellow guy who just wants his plates back so I go along with it till she gets out of her car, goes in the trunk, throws my plates in the garden and starts to leave. She goes "whatever," I say "whatever is right, ing bitch. this is what 15 year olds do." she tries to shout something as she's driving away and it's done. phew. 630AM. I check my house phone, turns out she had called that 8 times over the night.

I get a call from the police, tell them that my plates were returned and to keep a report but not to press charges. She was talking about saying I dealt drugs and crap and I just want to avoid hassles that come from shit like that so I didn't give contact information on her. She's a legal reporter working federal courts so it could probably hurt her bad and I think she realized that.

what a night eh? time to get stoned.

 

on a good note, boss' gf wants to hook me up with a few of her friends, and they are some hotties from what i hear!

 

and the morale of the story is...

 

... always keep your car garaged so that your psycho-pseudo-girlfriend can't pull this kind of crap and devastate your designated sleep schedule!!!




*BTW, I think I dated her...

 

it's rediculous! after i got calls at 215 and 230 i started laughing, thinking "if she expected me to answer, she shouldn't expect it any more." there's like this unwritten rule, you never call more than once unless someone is seriously injured or dying and don't leave more than 1 voicemail per person per event. some people just hopped off the train one station before clueville.

 

but she's not the kinda girl that would laugh if I ever exclaimed "well dip my balls in buttermilk and squat me in a room full of kittens" so it's definately for the best.

 

Josh is a magnet for psyho hose beasts.

 

women...

...can't live with 'em...















So how's the weather out there?

 

damn josh! you need a garage bro with a anti-psyco hose beast repellent!

Here's one fer you bro....
:twists a big jamaican happy smoke spliff:

uff-puff-passes to josh:

 

LMAO

seriously though I have had some stalker-like experiences, but nothing like this. If you didn't answer the door would she repel through a window SWAT Team style?