St Patty's Day
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St Patty's Day
Happy St Patricks Day. I hope these funnies put a smile on your face. 
An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him.
"So, you've been out drinking again!"
"How did you know?" he asks.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
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The Top 15 St. Patrick's Day Toasts
15. May the road kill rise up to eat you.
14. May you never be as unhappy as a Catholic in Belfast.
13. Hey! You! Wake up and drink this!
12. May the green of your vomit tomorrow echo the green of your eyes tonight.
11. May your codpiece always be a size too small.
10. Here's shrapnel in yer eye!
9. May the wind always be at yer back... less'n o'course, you're a mime.
8. May the grass grow green in your fields, may the sun shine warmly at your back, and may you be back home in your apartment a half-hour before you start puking your guts out.
7. May you never have to hear that caterwauling lass from The Cranberries screech ever again.
6. Git yer hand off me arse or I'll rip yer head off and puke down yer throat.
5. May Erin go bra'less.
4. May you have the hair of Bono and the balls of Sinead O'Connor.
3. May Pamela Lee fondle your blarney stones.
2. Here's to not trippin' over a Kennedy
and the Number 1 St. Patrick's Day Toast...
1. May the wind at your back not be the result of the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch.
An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him.
"So, you've been out drinking again!"
"How did you know?" he asks.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
__________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
The Top 15 St. Patrick's Day Toasts
15. May the road kill rise up to eat you.
14. May you never be as unhappy as a Catholic in Belfast.
13. Hey! You! Wake up and drink this!
12. May the green of your vomit tomorrow echo the green of your eyes tonight.
11. May your codpiece always be a size too small.
10. Here's shrapnel in yer eye!
9. May the wind always be at yer back... less'n o'course, you're a mime.
8. May the grass grow green in your fields, may the sun shine warmly at your back, and may you be back home in your apartment a half-hour before you start puking your guts out.
7. May you never have to hear that caterwauling lass from The Cranberries screech ever again.
6. Git yer hand off me arse or I'll rip yer head off and puke down yer throat.
5. May Erin go bra'less.
4. May you have the hair of Bono and the balls of Sinead O'Connor.
3. May Pamela Lee fondle your blarney stones.
2. Here's to not trippin' over a Kennedy
and the Number 1 St. Patrick's Day Toast...
1. May the wind at your back not be the result of the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch.
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 28,318
Likes: 9
From: This is not my house!
I'll have to read the funnies later but I just wanted to say "Happy St P's" back to everyone.
Oh... I went to an Irish concert in Berkeley last night. It was the Black Bros (Mary and Francis Black are their sisters for anyone who knows irish music) and they were great. Best of all!!!... my buddy Bryan plays keys for them.
He was great.
(Bryan and I paly together for anyone who's heard my recordings.)
Oh... I went to an Irish concert in Berkeley last night. It was the Black Bros (Mary and Francis Black are their sisters for anyone who knows irish music) and they were great. Best of all!!!... my buddy Bryan plays keys for them.
He was great.(Bryan and I paly together for anyone who's heard my recordings.)
for me tonight! 
for you tomorrow
