Not heard in the cube, but the best one liner I've heard was...

Baseball game, cameras keep panning to a couple getting quite amorous with each other, needing to get a room. Finally one of the announcers says "Well, it looks like he kisses her on the strikes and she kisses him on the balls". Yep, you can't beat that one...

Heard in the cube:
"There is NO way you're going to get THAT to fit in THIS hole..."
"It was all I could do to keep the monkey from humping my neck!"
"The chicken tasted great going in, but somewhere along the way my body decided to give it back"
"How many gawking morons DOES it take to move a crashed vehicle by telekenesis?"
"Is it really possible to suck the peanut butter out of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup? I mean, what if you froze the chocolate but not the peanut butter?"
"<giggle> Bunnies are all I live for..."

 

 

ROD put that thing away!

 

The follow quotes were aimed directly at me by a coworker. He always walks into my office and makes weird little whimpering noises like he's in deep thought ("hmmp. hunnnh. mmm. hmmph.") until I say, "What can I do for you, Bao..." Well it was 2 weeks ago this friday, about 4:50pm and I was in the middle of writing a big long email, but stopped and opened notepad to transcribe everything he said.

 

Hmmm, that's neither a derby nor a bowler...

 

In my last job, the girl sitting in the cube over was obsessed with zombie attacks. I heard her telling someone she kept a copy of her "escape map" both at the office and at home.

 

Exactly what I said when I saw him! He calls it his "conical rice worker's hat." I got a call from him on Monday evening telling me how awesome the hat works in the rain as well.


Yeah! I had no idea how many people have these zombie concerns!

 

 

Reety-awrighty, he da ZOMBIE WOOF
[dashes back out of the corner since it's a scary place]