It has been known for many years that Sex was healthy, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now, after "Original and Proprietary" research from Harvard University, they are proud to present the results:

Removing her clothes:

With her consent...............................12 Calories

Without her consent............................2187 Calories

Opening her bra:

With both hands................................8 Calories

With one hand..................................12 Calories

With your teeth................................485 Calories

Putting on a condom:

With an erection...............................6 Calories

Without an erection............................3315 Calories

Positions:

Missionary.....................................12 Calories

69 lying down...................................78 Calories

69 standing up.................................812 Calories

Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories

Doggy Style....................................326 Calories

Italian chandelier............................2912 Calories

Orgasms:

Real.........................................112 Calories

Fake..........................................1315 Calories

Post orgasm:

Lying in bed hugging.................................18 Calories

Getting up immediately...............................36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories

Getting a second erection: If you are:

20_29 years....................................36 Calories

30_39 years....................................80 Calories

40_49 years....................................124 Calories

50_59 years....................................1972 Calories

60_69 years....................................7916 Calories

70 and over....................................Results are still pending

Dressing afterwards:

Calmly.........................................32 Calories

In a hurry.....................................98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door...........5,218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories

 

that great!

you forgot:

Falling asleep right afterward........................Priceless!

 

ev you are the cornerstone of our ever advancing society.. once again.. we say thank you for your priceless contributions

 

I agree. Everett is at the leading edge of civilization as we know it -- right up there with duct tape. (Think about it. Where would our civilization be without duct tape.)

 

 

good one.
thanks Ev.

 

nah ... that would give ev too much credit...

 

OK, then, let's duct tape him to his computer.

 

umm... he's already taped to it

 

Ok, then, let's duct tape him and his computer to you.