1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf*ck you"
2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing"
3. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"
4. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"
5. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."
6. "Do I look like a people person?"
7. "This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting"
8. "I started out with nothing and still have most of it left"
9. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose"
10. "Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?"
11. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."
12. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."
13. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"
14. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"
15. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet"
16. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."
17. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."
18. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."
19. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."
20. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"
21. "Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done."

 

I coulda used several of those yesterday. Just thinking about it pisses me off.

 

 

I'd like to try some of those at work.

 

That's the idea Jack .... let us know how you get on ....

 

Hmm, I think I won't try any of those

 

I was singing #9 the other day in the car...

 

The other day I used the word shiznit. My son said, "Mom, did you just say SHIZNIT???" I said, "yes." He went and said, "wow, my mom is cool, she said shiznit. Snoop Dogg says shiznit."

I'm thinkin' to myself, "Oh, I didn't know Snoop Dogg said shiznit, I thought jedwards used shiznit."

 

I used #17 at a cocktail party the other day...

 

I use #17 pretty much all the time. I'm horrible with names. That's why all these aliases in the Corner are really freaking me out. I'll be at CornerCon going, "where's HOmer, he's the only one I would recognize"