Al Davis, owner of the Oakland Raiders, found himself at his wit's end. His last two first round draft picks, Jamarcus Russell and Darius Hayward-Bey, were complete flops and it looked like Oakland was headed for another season of futility. Frustrated beyond belief, Al decided to turn on the evening news to take his mind off of things. On the news was a human interest piece about US soldiers in Kabul teaching young Afghanis how to play American football. To Al's amazement, one young teenager picked up the football for the first time and threw a perfect spiral for 60 yards. It was at that moment that Al Davis realized he had found his qb of the future. Al spent the next year pulling strings, calling in favors and doing everything he could to get that young Afghani man into the United States. Eventually, his efforts paid off and the young man was allowed to enter the country and sign with the Oakland Raiders. It was a good investment. Overnight, the Raiders offense improved dramatically. Team after team fell to the Raiders unstoppable offense. The Raiders swept the regular season, breezed through the playoffs and, won the Super Bowl. The quarterback was named MVP. Fresh off of his victory, the young man called home to tell his mother what had happened. "Mother! Mother!" he exclaimed. "We've won the Super Bowl!" His joy was met with stony silence. "Mother, are you there?" "How could you?" his mother asked coldly. "How could you do this to your family?" "Mother," the man stammered, "I don't understand. What's wrong?" "While you were living the life of a superstar, your family has been abandoned to a live of depravity! Every day, our lives are interrupted by violence and gunfire! Your sisters have to avoid trash and broken glass on the way to school, and your brother is being threatened by fanatical gangs of drug dealers! You have abandoned us to a life of poverty and misery! I hate you for making us move us to Oakland?"

 

Crakifornica IS all thats its cracked up to be!