Number 12 - Life is sexually transmitted.
>
> Number 11 - Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
>one can die.
>
> Number 10 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see
>him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
>
> Number 9 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach
>a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
>
> Number 8 - Some people are like Slinky's...not really good for
>anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down
>the stairs.
>
> Number 7 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
>hospitals dying of nothing.
>
> Number 6 - Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>
> Number 5 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays
>no attention to criticism.
>
> Number 4 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
>dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
>
> Number 3 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
>Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>
> Number 2 - Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
>profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance
>to the first.
>
> AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2004:
>
> Terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired
>visas for as long as 10-15 years. Now take Blockbuster - You're two days
>late with a video rental and those people are all over you. I think we
>should put Blockbuster in charge of our immigration

 

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This has always been one of my favorite quotations.

Oh, and...


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