Dear Ron:

Why do bread manufacturers normally use twist ties to close the bread bag...

While bagel manufacturers normally (at least the ones I buy do!) use the little plastic clips?

in Cincy

 

Real bagels don't come in plastic bags.

Dear Ron,
So this shmuck from the 'burbs noshes on bagels from a plastic bag. What a putz. So why does he spend all his time here schvitzing?

Signed,

Kosher in Keokuck

 

 

Yes.

 

Trick question. Hidalgo is a county. I only solve time problems for cities and major metropolitan areas.

 

I've never seen a bagel in a plastic bag. Why in the name of the gods would you do such a thing?

 

So that when I drop it in the toilet..... the bag protects it and I can still eat it!

 

Dear Sirs,
A friend recommended this amazing generic Viagra (c) and I was wondering if you had tried it? I understand that if you don't swallow it quickly enough, you get a stiff neck. Is that correct?

Signed,
Non-chemically endowed in Nantucket (where "There was a young lady from Nantucket").

 

So that when I drop it in the toilet..... the bag protects it and I can still eat it!
[/quote]

Congratulations. You've got references to bodily functions and coprophagy down. If you'll add some blood, semen and attitude to the mix I can get you a show in a gallery in Chelsea within the year.

Yours in Contemporary Art

 

I suggest you experiment and report back.

Yours in empiricism,