Most of you don't know, I had surgery 2 mondays ago to remove a cancerous lesion from my cervical area. I was excited about the procedure as they assured me they were confident that they got all of the affected areas.

Today my case manager, on base, calls me at work and told me the test results. They didn't get all of the cancerous cells, and are considering a more invasive procedure that could potentially prohibit me from having children. If I don't get this procedure done, i could have children, but not be alive to take care of them.

I just need hugs. I'm devestated. I'll be 21 in December, this is something i should be dealing with when I am 50, not 20

 

Well its a very hard decision to make, but ultimately it is yours to make. I don't have an answer to tell you as I am not a woman but I know most women think it is very important to have kids. Is it 100% if you go back you will not be able to have them? I would say you shuold worry about you for now and see what happens (hope that doesn't sound bad) , on another note you can always adopt, its not the same but it is a very respected practice in today's society.

 

A few months ago I was told I had liver cancer and that it looked bad. After weeks of testing it turned out not to be but I spent some time believing I had no choice but to die. I got lucky but I can understand how you feel. If I was near enough I would certainly give you a bunch of big hugs.

My wife and I were unable to have children and while it was hard it sure beats the alternative. My advice is to do whatever you have to do to stay alive. I

 

Live.

I am very moved by your situation and hope that the experienced of a close friend of mine may help. At a young age, she watched her mother die from breast cancer, and a few years later her aunt died too. Her sister caught her breast cancer in time for successful surgical intervention and radiation therapy. My friend then decided to have both breasts removed before there were any signs of cancer, against the wishes of her doctors. Only later (after tests were developed) did she learn that she, and many of the surviving women in her family, had the BRAC gene that is strongly associated with breast cancer. A little later, she had her ovaries removed when they showed signs of cancer too. She loves her life (and lives it with great gusto) and has not regretted her decisions.

I also have other friends that have not been able to have children for a wide variety of reasons adopt a child. They love their children and have been able to fulfill their desires for a family when it was otherwise not possible. Several have confided in me that adoption was a far better solution than they expected, and have developed a love for their children deeper than they imagined possible.

With kind regards,

Joshua

 

I will have to agree with Coral Doc on choosing you first and seeing what happens, I can tell you like your life you are a very happy person and get along well with everyone (even me and thats hard LOL)

 

with everything J said including what's in parentheses.



Gerry

 

Adopt. There are plenty of children that need a father, mother and/or family.

 

Adoption is fine for those who happen to have $10,000 - 15,000 laying around.



Gerry

 

That is not true, you do not have to be rich to adopt, actually as long as you have a good home and can take care of the child adequately you will be fine.

 

You don't have to go through one of those ultra-expensive agencies to adopt. There are places like Children's Home Society that make adoption less expensive, as they want to find good homes for the children.

Paying $10K or more to adopt is ridiculous. That's for "designer" adoption agencies.