A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there. Out of breath he asked "Please Sister, may I hide under your habit for a few minutes. I'll explain why later." The nun agreed. Just a moment later two Military Police came running along and asked "Sister, have you seen a soldier running by here?" The nun replied, "He went that way." After the MP's disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her habit and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go to Iraq." The nun said, "I think I can fully understand your fear." The soldier added, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls. I don't want to go to Iraq either."

 

HOpes Ray sees this

 

 

 

 

A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver. She states that she needs someone to talk to.
She lives in a convent and wants to have sex before she dies. The driver agrees, but the nun
says she can't have sex with anyone who is married (it would be a sin), and she has to die a virgin, so they have to do it up the ass. The bus driver says no problem, he's a bachelor.
The bus is empty, so they go to the back of the bus and take care of business. After they are finished, the driver says "sister I have a confession to make. I'm a married man with 3 kids."
The nun replies "that's OK because my name is Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party!"

 

How do you get a nun pregnant?







Dress her up as an altar boy!

 

What do you call a nun who just passed her bar exam?








A sister-in-law!

 

What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep?










A roaming Catholic.

 

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.